Marriage after two breakups

28-year-old Andrew Mwendwa and 24-year-old musician Grace Kavesu had been acquaintances for a long time before they started dating. Whereas Andrew was sure they were headed to the altar from day one, it took Grace sometime, including two breakups, to understand that Andrew was the one for her. The couple narrated their love journey to HARRIET OGAYO.

Andrew Mwendwa asked Grace Kavesu to be his girlfriend just as she had joined university. The couple had known each other since childhood and this stood Andrew in good stead as Grace agreed to the relationship.

“I’d just joined Chuka University and was excited that someone had asked me to be their girlfriend. However, when I look back, I don’t think I was really aware what it took for a relationship to work,” says Grace.

Grace’s nonchalant approach to the relationship coupled with the long distance between them dealt a crushing blow to the fledgling courtship. Just a few days into her campus stay, Grace told Andrew that she didn’t think their relationship would work.

“Campus proved to be an unanticipated kettle of fish altogether. I met new people, had new experiences and soon started feeling like I had committed myself way too soon,” says Grace warily.

And so each went their separate ways but it wasn’t long before they got back together. Distance was still an issue. They found reprieve a year later when Grace transferred to Kenyatta University. Their relationship went on seemingly well.

However, three-and-a-half years into the relationship, Grace suggested they take another break as once more, she was unsure of her commitment to Andrew and matrimony.
Devastated, Andrew threw himself into his work to distract himself. He admits that moving on from Grace was an uphill task. Grace on the other hand went for dates but with poor results.

“Unbeknown to me, I was comparing my dates to Andrew and with good reason. He’s gentle and kind; some of the qualities that attracted me to him in the first place. I also sought God for direction during this time and the thought of being with Andrew gave me so much peace that I knew I had to get him back. In December 2015, I started reaching out to him via texts,” explains the musician.

But Andrew would have none of it. “I didn’t want anything to do with her but as fate would have it, I bumped into her one day as I was driving from a meeting. I toyed with the idea of ignoring her but eventually greeted her and even offered her a ride. That’s how we started talking again,” expounds Andrew, adding that around April 2016, when the air between them had thawed, he told Grace that if they ever got back together, it would be for keeps. She agreed.

Andrew proposed six months later as he didn’t want to take any chances. Grace was at the time a staff member at the youth church at Mamlaka Hill Chapel. With help from mutual friends and her colleagues, I made a video narrative of our love journey, which was disguised as an announcement to be broadcasted on the screens in the youth church.

While she was watching, I snuck up behind her and when it was over, got down on one knee and nervously asked her to marry me. She said yes,” the car sales and marketing executive reminisces.

With a budget of Ksh350,000 and 500 guests to grace their occasion, the couple exchanged their wedding vows at the Mamlaka Hill Chapel on April 21, 2017. The couple acknowledges that family and friends came through for them to make their day a success, as most of the services were either highly subsidised or free as gifts from friends and colleagues.

“Either way, we had purposed that even without money, the most important thing was to be joined before man and God. The rest are embellishments,” they conclude.