Some men see foreplay as a variety of things they need to go through in order to prepare a woman for intercourse. They don’t see foreplay as part of their own pleasure. Others think of foreplay as a woman touching their genitals, which they want done quickly, as soon as they get into bed, and then proceed to sex. A woman should encourage her man to appreciate the delights foreplay offers, by being enthusiastic about trying new sensual experiences. This way, he learns that joy in sexual activities comes in large part from the affection expressed between couples.
On the other hand, a woman’s body requires prolonged stimulation if she is to become fully aroused for sex. Women’s arousal is brought on by a complex blend of mental and physical stimuli when the emotional atmosphere is sufficiently encouraging. Some women need a particularly long time to become aroused, and a considerate lover must therefore be patient. As a man works to arouse his partner, he should also feel intense pleasure. When a woman senses her man is enjoying foreplay and not doing it merely to arouse her, she will not only be more receptive, but also more helpful during intercourse and the experience will be mutually pleasurable. Men who kiss and cuddle a lot, and indulge in sensitive foreplay, are more likely to see their partners reach orgasm frequently and easily.
You can desire sex yet not become aroused during lovemaking, just as you can be aroused without having a desire for sex. Lack of sexual arousal may lead to lack of sexual desire or to unsatisfactory sex. Some couples want each other; want to have sex, yet they do not excite each other well enough for the sex to be satisfactory. Many couples suffer from arousal timing issues when one gets aroused more quickly, usually the man, than the other. Some couples also mistake the physical signs of initial arousal – erect penis and vaginal lubrication – as proof of sexual readiness, and therefore don’t spend more time in foreplay or fantasising about the sexual encounter about to happen. Once couples start spending more time pleasing each other during the arousal phase, they get more excited about sex and enjoy it more.
For most couples, there are times when intercourse can become routine and predictable. Used imaginatively, foreplay can open up some exciting variations. Good sex requires good foreplay. In fact, foreplay can sometimes take over from actual intercourse as the main source of excitement. Foreplay does not begin at the bedroom door. Many fairly ‘innocent’ social activities can take on special significance between lovers and potential lovers. For example, sharing a romantic evening having a good meal and a bottle of wine is a natural prelude to lovemaking….(Part two next week)