Four questions to ask on a first date

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First dates can be awkward and nerve-racking, especially if you don’t know what to talk about. But how can you avoid that dreaded awkward silence? We provide you with a list of questions that will lead to a great conversation on that first date.

Getting to know someone new is akin to peeling an onion; you unearth the person one layer at a time. It should be fun and exciting. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast by asking personal or sensitive questions thereby ruining what could have been a great date.  There will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics, so let the first date be easy and a chance to genuinely enjoy the rendezvous. It is worth noting that by paying close attention to what they say and taking an interest in your date’s life, job or anything else they seem to like to talk about, you will definitely find a variety of things to chat about. These are some of the questions that can help you keep it fun and exciting during that first date.

1. Tell me about yourself. This question is open-ended and will give your date an opportunity to talk about anything without feeling pressured. You will also gain a lot of insight about your date depending on what he/ she chooses to talk about. For instance, if your date responds to this question by telling you more about their family, it gives you an indication that family is important to them. If they respond by talking more about their career, then you get a hint that career is crucial to them. Try and build on this conversation and keep it going by asking follow-up questions to further draw out your date without making them feel uncomfortable or as if they are being examined.

2. What are you passionate about? This question will give you more understanding on what your date loves and is enthusiastic about. This could be entrepreneurship, dancing, music or even travelling.

3. What is the one thing about you that most people would not know by just looking at you? Rest assured, this question is an icebreaker that will have your date laughing as they try to figure out what aspect of their life they would want revealed. This is an opportunity for you to watch their non-verbal cues that will tell you whether or not they are comfortable talking about their private life. This question will also help you get rid of the layers that a lot of people often put up during a date in a bid to impress the other party, and gives you a sneak preview into the other person’s life.

4. What do you enjoy doing over the weekends? This is an opportunity to share with your date how the two of you would spend time together on a weekend or when you have some free time, once you hook up.  Be authentic and avoid cliché answers for the sake of impressing your date such as hanging out with friends. Instead, talk about specific activities like reading a novel or inviting friends over for a cookout or sleepover. By giving specific activities of what you enjoy doing, you will be helping your date decide if this is something they would enjoy doing with you.

Avoid at all costs talking about past relationships, religion or topics that are likely to lead into conflict. Instead, preserve these personal details for much later should you decide you want to see your date again. Once you are in a committed relationship, then no topic should be off limits but until then, don’t pull the big guns out yet. After all, getting to know each other should be a gradual process.

Oct2015

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