OLDER WOMAN, YOUNGER MAN How to make the relationship work

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Let’s be honest; when a woman is dating a younger man, she will be the talk of town and will possibly be branded all sorts of names such as a ‘cougar’, sugar mummy and even a cradle snatcher. Ironically, the man is often thought of as a hero and conqueror; a depiction of the double standards we see in society. But names and double standards aside, is a relationship with a younger man feasible today? We explore…

Today’s dating trends show that a lot of young men are actually dating women older than them. And so unlike in the past, these kinds of relationships are now much more common with some even moving past the dating stage to marriage.

Dating a younger guy can be fulfilling, just like any other healthy relationship. According to a 2008 study published in the journal Psychology of Women Quarterly, women who are years older than their partners report to have had more satisfaction and relationship commitment in comparison to women who are the same age or younger than their partner.

In days gone, men preferred dating and marrying younger women because a younger woman was likely to be submissive and bear more children. Women on the other hand preferred older men because they offered a sense of emotional maturity and economic stability. While the latter still stands, tables have since turned for the former as men are dating women older than them with quite a good number culminating in marriage.

How to make it work…

Whether you come from the school of thought that age is just a number or not, the reality is that finding someone who you have a connection with, who you can’t seem to get off your mind and are genuinely and mutually looking to get into a relationship with is not easy these days. And so when you get one, the issue of age would be thrown in the back burner as you relish each other’s company. In addition, when love knocks, you have no choice but to open the doors to your heart regardless of the other person’s belief, situation or age.

That said, the age issue is bound to come up one time or another but bringing it up every time you have a fight or difference of opinion will not stand in good stead for both of you. It is also bound to make the relationship turn sour. If age is not the root cause of your disagreement, then it shouldn’t be part of the argument.

It pays to be confident in yourself, and this goes for both of you. A woman need not change how she dresses or start hanging out in college bars in order to fit into a younger man’s life.

It is worth understanding that the guy loves you as you are and if he were interested in your younger self, he would have probably gone for someone younger. Therefore, have your own life going on – friends, career, hobbies and whatnots.

A lot of the men going for older women tend to dread clingy young women who abandon their own ships the moment the relationship is on and set up camp on their boyfriend’s show. So don’t fall into that trap and begin to act desperate for his attention every waking moment.

It also pays to treat him like an equal partner instead of mothering him around, and that means letting him be the man in the relationship. Like any other man, let him foot some – if not most – of the bills.

A lot of women in this kind of dating situations end up being taken advantage of by young men who are in it for financial assistance. Therefore, take your time to learn a person before committing to them.

As a younger guy, you need to understand that unlike a lot of younger women who are still exploring the dating world, older women have a clearer idea of what they want. Consequently, they will not like it if you play mind games with them just to test the waters. It will pay off if you are more direct and up-front with your intentions towards her rather than beating about the bush.

At the end of the day, whether you are accepting or not of this dating culture, it is here to stay and getting popular. And so to each his own!

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