Before you date a feminist!
Feminists are a misunderstood lot and the dating pool is treacherous. Men are somewhat afraid to date them because of the assumption that they hate men - a common stereotype they have to deal with. A lot of misconceptions still linger and men in particular are suspicious and wary of ladies who call themselves feminists. If there is a relationship with a feminist in the foreseeable future, here are four tips that may come in handy.
Feminism is a movement that was started by women to advocate for the right to be treated as equal to their male counterparts at a time when women were viewed as property or objects and were not allowed to voice their opinions. However, some people believe that in dating feminist women, the men may be emasculated in the relationship.
They seem to view feminism as a movement to make women superior to men, which is where the problem lies. Feminism is about equality and women who say they are feminists are just as loving and lovable. All they ask for is to be treated as equals. Here are things you need to know while dating a woman who proclaims to be a feminist.
Do not generalize. Everyone’s account of dating a feminist is different based on the fact that there is more to a person than what they believe in. Do not be shy to approach a feminist because you have heard of nasty experiences from other men.
If you are attracted to a woman and would want to be in a relationship with her, let not stereotypes deter you. Remember the nature of a person may be attributed to their upbringing or environment they grow in and in the broader sense it comes down to their personality.
There is also a crop of women who identify themselves as feminists but are referred to as ‘feminazis’ since they are vocal about their hate for men and it would be wise to distinguish which category your date falls into early on.
Understand their need for self-care. Feminist women do not buy into the idea of the metaphorical damsel in distress always in need of a knight in shining armour.
They do not rely on people for happiness, wealth or success as they are used to fighting their own battles and for you to help her out with something, she would have to ask you first.
A man should not automatically assume that his help is welcome because this could grossly offend her. This situation may feel challenging for a man who has been raised to do such gestures without question but can be resolved by finding compromises that work for both of you. Good communication also helps to understand one another better.
Do not try to control her. The feminist woman does what she pleases so long as she does not infringe on the rights of anyone else or demean someone. She also accords respect to people who give her the same kind of respect regardless of gender.
She believes that in a relationship, both your opinions matter and hence imposing your opinion on her is sure to bring a misunderstanding. Dating a feminist woman therefore requires one to be able to engage her in all aspects of the relationship.
Prepare for ‘reversed’ roles. Going into a relationship with a feminist woman requires an open mind.
As much as everyone appreciates nice gestures, feminist women do not automatically assume that the man will pay the bill at the restaurant or hold the door for her as she passes, considering those are traditionally thought of as male roles in a relationship.
She will appreciate the move but do not be surprised if she returns the favour. She will gladly pay her half of the bill without a problem. She also has no qualms about holding the door for a man and does not think that a man who cries is weak.