The difference between men and women has inspired the book Men are from Mars and Women from Venus written by an American author and relationship counselor, John Gray. Sisters, mothers and wives have a hard time understanding men’s behaviour that often appears totally unpredictable. These are traits that men would like women to understand and let them be.
Women should know that men, young or old, cherish spending time with their male counterparts. That is when his time is his time. You may call him and he tells you he is with his friends and that he will see you later. It doesn’t mean you are less important. He might be watching sports, drinking, or somewhere chatting with his friends. It is not a good time to keep calling him. His absence is his leisure time elsewhere.
Secondly, when a man asks his soul mate to give him something that is within his reach, it shouldn’t be construed as disrespect or that his male chauvinism is taking the better part of him. Instead, all he may want to find out is if he is cared for, loved and respected. It is natural for men to issue commands like military soldiers. Most of the time they unconsciously display dominance.
In the quest for women to learn more about men, they should acknowledge that some men find nothing untidy with leaving their clothes scattered all over the room once they get in the house. With such a character, a woman has to sadly learn to conform to this habit for a while. Some men might take time to change from this or may even, sadly, never change. To him, it is normal. It is simply, not a big deal.
Spending his money might be an issue too. It’s been said time and again that, “what is hers is hers and what is his is ours.” Women love to spend their spouses’ money without a blink of an eyelid. But when a man gives his woman his ATM card and pin number and a list of necessities needed in the house, it is because he trusts her with his pocket. However, that is not a license for her to go and spend more on buying new clothes or shoes. A man might dust off the issue with a smile if his money is overspent. But it is a practice that men hate with a passion. It works against his budget and most importantly he prefers to be consulted first. Men are severely sensitive when it comes to not being engaged especially in matters money.
In addition, don’t take it negatively if your man is reluctant to join you for shopping. Men plan in advance what they want when going shopping to avoid denting the pockets. They will just get in a supermarket and pick what they want. Women, on other hand, can spend an hour roaming in a supermarket as they admire the displays even after they have picked what they want. A trip with his woman to the supermarket is one exercise men dread. He finds it more appealing to remain in the comfort of the house watching a match or playing a video game.
Yes, there is also nothing wrong with a man, despite his age, to love video games and other gadgets. He prefers not to be interrupted with requests to go shopping in the midst of having his moment of fun. He values his car and electronics. The best you can do at such times is to join him at his play station and make sure his dear toys are safe for the sake of peace.
Men love to have control over almost everything. They usually tend to hide their emotions and would silently refuse to agree that they don’t know something. If lost he may take hours looking for directions than seek help especially if he is with his partner. If asked something he doesn’t know he will adamantly admit he knew it and he has just forgotten. No wonder women believe men are so forgetful. Well, that may be so or it may be his confidence just hiding his pride. Men love to rule just by the mere fact that they are men. They hate to be perceived as weak.
Manly virtues may take time to detach. However, if a lady capitalises well on her charms, taming a man to be what she wants should not be a problem. Men want to feel needed. It is such reason that makes him feel glad he fixed that damaged curtain box or tap. It makes him prove his presence is important. Well, guess you can also say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Make him a delicious meal too for boys will always be boys.
Remember Mars and Venus are worlds apart. So don’t always judge your man, learn from this column what happens in Mars and you will attempt to understand why he behaves the way he does.
Published in December 2014