Boundaries, otherwise described as limits between a person and others, are important. They assist with protection from malicious intentions and in keeping one's sanity intact. Boundaries vary from loose to China wall high depending on the relationship between two individuals.

Boundaries are necessary in a marriage. They are what a couple needs to protect each other from misunderstandings. These boundaries can also safeguard a marriage from third parties thus allowing for a longer lasting relationship.

How do you establish boundaries for your marriage?

Communicate clearly what works and what does not work

At the onset of any relationship, it is important to establish a tone for your marriage. They say permissiveness in a union is the root cause of other evils. Letting your partner know what offends you is important in ensuring a healthy state of mind in a relationship.

Join your better half's team

Soccer table game Netherlands
Photo by Pascal Swier / Unsplash

You and your spouse become a team the instance you get married. Therefore, it is crucial that you put each other into consideration whenever you make decisions that affect both of you.

This also goes for any attack leveled against your partner. You should, at all costs, stand by him/her no matter the circumstances. However, if you need to address the claims with your partner, make sure it is in private  so you do not expose your weaknesses.

Self awareness

My friend walking into the sunset.
Photo by Tegan Mierle / Unsplash

This cannot be stressed enough. Everything starts with self. Even the simplest things done by a person begin with a realization of how they are affected individually. Therefore, even when it comes to setting boundaries, ensure it is done from a point of knowledge.

It is likely that people who are not self aware to permit anything into their lives then cry foul afterwards. A simple analysis of your life and feelings will tell you who you are. Reading and watching other people also gives you some useful and insightful details to help in your awareness journey.

8 unwritten rules of marriage
More often than not, couples find themselves in trouble not because of broken vows but because of the little unspoken rules that govern peace and coexistence between couples.

Communicate your boundaries

It is important to ensure your partner understands what they stand to lose upon violation of a boundary. This may include separation. However, this does not mean you issue threats every time you suspect that a boundary has been violated.

Instead, wait to acquire concrete evidence then act accordingly. You should also give your partner a chance to explain themselves and in case they regret their actions, forgiveness should be readily offered.


Setting healthy boundaries is a crucial part of life and an important aspect of any self-care practice. Setting boundaries may look like a simple 'no'. With time it will come naturally and the guilt that comes with it disappears.

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