You have probably experienced it or even know someone who constantly expresses how they never feel good enough for their partner. Yet being and feeling whole with oneself is the first vital relationship anyone ought to have before allowing others into their life. We tell you why you should love yourself first before loving someone else.
hen was the last time you heard a girl or a woman say, “I’m beautiful and deserve the best in life”? It’s been months; perhaps years, right? This is because women tend to beat themselves up and even look down on themselves. It often takes someone else to recognise and applause a woman before she begins to appreciate herself.
A popular saying goes: “Your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself.” Agreed! Self-love is the foundation of any healthy relationship you are to have with others. Here’s how you can articulate and reflect it in your life.
Begin by practicing self-love…
One of the simplest ways to start practicing self-love is by listing the things you love about yourself. Writing things etches them on your mind and with time you will be able to regain confidence and learn to love yourself better.
Learn to spend time by yourself and enjoy your own company. You could incorporate some good ‘me’ time such as reading a book you love, going to the movies or even taking yourself out for dinner. Spending time by yourself will help you know yourself better and understand your values and your self-worth. This will help you realise you are good enough, whether or not others think so. Understanding your values and your worth will also reinforce the feeling that you don’t need someone else to be complete.
Mind the self-talk you constantly have by finding ways to shut out every negative chatter in your mind and speaking positive words to yourself daily. You can use phrases like, “I am beautiful” or “I am good enough.”
Once in a while treat yourself to a day at the spa, or even buy yourself something you love such as clothes, perfume or shoes. The more you practice loving yourself, the more confident you will feel about letting others into your life and feel deserving of their love. By loving and treating yourself right, you will be setting a standard for those who come into your life on how you want to be treated instead of the negative thoughts and fears of not being good enough for someone else.
When you start feeling love for yourself and are able to see the world as a truly magnificent, beautiful, and sacred place, you will notice how it gives back.
Let go of the myth that you need a man to complete you…
You need not be miserable just because you are not in a relationship. Some women seek their happiness from the love of a man and when this is not forthcoming, they feel unhappy and even put their lives on hold waiting to have a relationship. But it is important to find what makes you happy before you get into a relationship, so that when you find someone, you are able to share the happiness with him.
Relationships are meant to complement rather than complete you. And therefore it is up to you to work on yourself in your singlehood so that you are whole otherwise waiting for a man to complete you will only lead to a dysfunctional relationship.
You ought to realise that the best way of meeting the right person is by living your life and that means you should be enjoying life, travelling to places you want to go, or investing instead of locking out yourself from truly living in the name of waiting for a man. Think about it; should you find love in your 40s or 50s, you will have denied yourself from experiencing life during the most productive years of your life. So go on; love yourself and live life!
Published March 2017…