Sex is a normal and fun part of adult life. Some relationships are even known to thrive based on the sexual attraction and sexual compatibility of couples before all the other key ingredients of a successful relationship are factored in. However, trouble comes in when sex comes in the way of your day-to-day activities. How much sex is ideal and how much is enough? Find out below
There are certain things we can never have enough of – a sport for some men or a telenovela for some ladies. For others, that one thing is sex. Although research has proven that having sex has many benefits for your body and general health, it is possible that acting on carnal urges can actually interfere with leading a healthy life. This article explores the different ways one could be having too much sex either knowingly or unknowingly.
Many people are usually self-conscious of whether their bedroom activity is normal or not; and when it comes to frequency, people worry about having less sex or going overboard. It may sound absurd to think that a pleasurable activity can be bad for your health but it is true. Sexual frequency varies with age or the type of relationship, and popular studies on the average number of times you should have sex does not apply to everyone, as people are different. While there is no scale to gauge yourself upon, there are indicators that can help you know whether you are overdoing it such as…
The first indicator that you may be overdoing it is if you suffer from physical pain because of frequently having sex. Extremely high frequency of having sex can also cause the skin on the sexual organs to tear making sex uncomfortable or putting yourself at a risk of contracting infection from open wounds or cuts. Women mostly run the risk of getting urinary tract infections due to frequent sex especially if it is with different partners because of the scraping of vaginal walls during penetration.
Men on the other hand could suffer from fracturing of the penis, the telltale sign being swelling at its base. One may also develop lower back pain, strained muscles or be prone to exhaustion, which are the body’s ways of telling you to cut down on your steamy sessions. In case of physical injury, it’s prudent to call it quits for the day. Better still, since women don’t stay lubricated eternally, it’s smart to use some lubricant for a more pleasurable sex. Lubricants also prevent condoms from breaking.
Constantly disrupting your schedule for sex
If you find yourself constantly thinking about sex such that you put off important things like work or studies to have sex, you are probably having too much sex or are leading an unhealthy sex life. If every spare moment away from work or school is spent either thinking about sex or the actual deed itself, it ceases to be classified as
normal sexual behaviour but borders on a dangerous addiction which could cost one their employment or interfere with their studies.
Once one identifies that they may be having an unhealthy sexual lifestyle, it is important to see a professional in order to learn how to keep those urges at bay. Also, you could be having too much sex if sex get’s into the way of living a healthy lifestyle such as having sex despite risky consequences like contracting a sexually transmitted disease.
If you have sex as a substitute for something else
In some cases, people use sex as a crutch for an underlying problem that they do not want to deal with at that moment. When a problem seems too big to deal with or is constantly bothering you and your first resort is to look for sex to relieve the pressure, this may mean that your sex life is unhealthy since the first option would be physical gratification, which does not help to solve the problem.
In such a case, one should open up to their partner or a counsellor to help identify ways of solving the underlying problem. Such a conversation should be held in a comfortable setting, preferably away from the bedroom area and definitely not after sex as judgment may be clouded then. It is important to have sober thinking in order to be able to solve the problem.
Quantity over quality
First of all, sex is meant to be pleasurable and should leave both partners feeling fulfilled afterwards. If one is not concerned about the quality of sex provided as long as there is some bedroom action, you may be having an unhealthy take on sex, which could be causing you to have frequent sex.
For most women, having sex has to start with an emotional connection before a roll in the hay. If their partner is only focussed on quantity, it takes joy out of an experience that is supposed to create an environment of desire and fun. When the bedroom action is boring or unimaginative because one partner does not put into consideration the needs of the other, it can spell doom for the relationship. It is important to remember that more sex does not always equal to a happy life.
Sometimes people may be distressed thinking that they may be having too much sex yet their sexual behaviour is purely normal. In such an instance, it is important to have an honest conversation with your partner and possibly a sexual health expert to get rid of any fears. At other times one may be aware of their sexual tendencies, such as having sex very often, which interfere with the other aspects of their lives yet choose to ignore the issue.
In this case they may be burdened psychologically as they are aware they may have a problem but refuse to address it. If one feels their thoughts are troubled in relation to their sex life, it is important to consult a professional for help. Psychological burden or stress does not augur well for your relationship and your sex life could take a blow altogether and cease to exist since it is associated with stress. This is bound to become a problem as well.
Law of diminishing returns
Although this is a concept in economics, it also applies in other aspects of life. In this case, if you are accustomed to having sex frequently, its value diminishes and it ceases to give you a kick as much as it previously did. It reaches a point where doing more of the same thing does not yield the expected results. It, therefore, becomes a mere activity done out of some kind of obligation instead of as a bonding experience for you and your partner. But you can prevent this from happening by being experimental with sex positions as well as having sex in different environments.
There is no standard number that dictates how much sex you and your partner are or should be having regardless of what a study reveals because in sensitive issues such as the frequency of sex, some people tend to lie so as to save face or appear macho. In case you realise that any of the above applies to you or your partner, it is important to address the issue with professional help.
However, if you and your partner are comfortable with the amount of sex that you are having whether it is twice daily or once a week and it does not cause any kind of conflict in the relationship, then there is no reason to drastically alter your sex life. Fortunately, having less sex than you may be accustomed to does not equate to less love, happiness or a sense of fulfilment.