“What Has Kept Us Married for 17 Years Is Friendship” – Abel Mutua & Judy Nyawira Reflect

Abel Mutua and his wife, Judy Nyawira, reflect on the values that have grounded their marriage, how change has shaped them, and why friendship remains the strongest adhesive in their union.

After seventeen years together, filmmaker and storyteller Abel Mutua and producer Judy Nyawira have reached a season where looking back offers both clarity and gratitude. The couple, who have been open about the realities of navigating marriage in a modern context, describe friendship as the most reliable constant in their journey.

“The thing that kept us together is the friendship,” Abel says. “I won’t lie, I found a ride or die wife. Right now men are judged by what they can provide. For me, I was judged based on my potential.”

His admission speaks to a cultural moment where relationships are often evaluated through financial provisioning, timelines, or conventional milestones. For Abel, being evaluated on future promise rather than immediate performance became a catalyst for growth rather than pressure.

Judy’s perspective aligns. Over the years she has emphasized the importance of mutual respect, aligned goals, and a shared work ethic. Abel adds, partnership is built less on perfect compatibility and more on adaptive collaboration.

“Spouses do morph in marriage. The mistake is pretending change isn’t happening,” he notes. The couple agrees that ignoring change often breeds resentment and silent disconnection. Acknowledging shifting ambitions, personalities, priorities, and even careers has allowed them to recalibrate rather than compete.

Another layer to their longevity is an unspoken contract of emotional safety. Friendship gave them language for conflict, accountability without humiliation, and space for individual evolution. As life introduced new responsibilities, parenthood, careers in the creative industry, and public scrutiny, they returned to the fundamentals that first brought them together.

While every marriage navigates its own complexities, Abel and Judy’s story underscores a timeless truth: companionship cannot be outsourced to romance, material comfort, or social expectations. It must be nurtured intentionally.

Seventeen years later, friendship remains their foundation, steady, familiar, and resilient enough to absorb the inevitable seasons of change.

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