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Editorial

What a man should know before the vows

  • PublishedMay 1, 2012

Moral lesson:

Love and cherish the woman you have. HER INTEREST IN YOU WILL VARY Now you talk and laugh with each other and cannot seem to stop. Time is too short for all the things you want to catch up on. You have almost everything in common including your liking for same movies, same music and same social joints. A year after the wedding, however, you discover that a lot has changed. She now prefers watching Mexican soap operas to talking and laughing. And on Sundays, she will hop from one chama to another rather than sit with you to watch an English Premier League game as she previously did. When she gets home and you are hoping to make up for lost time in the bedroom, she announces that she needs only two things: a hot bath and sleep.

Then a baby shows up and it looks and feel like you no longer exist. Your efforts to start a conversation will at times be curtailed by her one-worded answers. The day she agrees to spare some time she will listen with eyes half-shut with sleep. Taking care of the baby will take a toll on her to such an extent that you question how on earth such a baby is a “bundle of joy.” Are these signs that she is losing interest in you? Not really, only that the demands of life of a married woman by far exceed those of a dating woman, and she will need time alone, sometimes. Nobody tells you this during courtship and you must adjust as you learn. Moral lesson: Know that the time you had to just laugh and gossip will be eaten up by serious business. And that is a proper marriage. If you are newlywed and things seem like all honeymoon, prepare for when the honey is all licked and the moon is hidden in a dark cloud.

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