What if you’re the toxic partner in the relationship? You probably know all the red flags to look out for in a a partner but can you see them in you? How sure are you that your relationship is healthy and mutually beneficial? To answer all these questions see if you check all the boxes below:
Constantly putting them down
Even if you are clowning them or cracking jokes, negative things get to your partner. Do you keep puting them down, even in front of their friends? Your partner might be flawed, as we all are, but you should never make them feel like they can’t do anything right by you.
That is controlling and unhealthy. If you don’t have something nice to say, better keep it to yourself. After all relationships are about accepting each other however we are.
You get easily provoked
Look back at all the arguments you’ve had as a couple. How did you handle the previous ones? Is your partner a little too quick to let you “win”? Well, that may be because they have since given up trying to make you see their point.
Disagreements are crucial because each side’s grievances get to be aired. You also get to see an important side of your mate. You should learn to let arguments happen and exercise patience. It is toxic to always want to end up at the top. Remember the end goal is to come to an amicable agreement, not to win.
Making your partner feel bad for doing or not doing things is wrong. Especially when it is not in their control. It is a manipulation tactic because you then offer forgiveness in exchange for something you wanted.
Also, constantly bringing up past issues is a form of guilt-tripping. They can do nothing about it anymore, nobody wants to be reminded about mistakes they did five years ago again and again after they have apologised.
People usually do this to distract from a situation where they were in the wrong. Own your mistakes. Try not to take it personally when you are called out for something unfair you did. Someone who corrects you loves you and wants to make being with you easy. You’ll notice you’re doing this when you make a mistake but your partner ends up apologizing for it instead. Check here to learn how to control your bad temper?
Depending too much on them
A partner is meant to supplement your life but not be the center of it. It’s ok to ask for help or guidance from your significant other but don’t make them feel you cannot live without it. That is a lot to put on someone, not to mention off putting.
You didn’t always have them but you still survived back then, show some of that independence. Being clingy could lead to you getting used, making both of you toxic so stay on your guard.
Not involving them in your life
Prioritizing your partner should be on a healthy scale. Not too much and not too little. A little attention and affection leaves one feeling unwanted. Theories about where you are and what you’re doing start forming in their heads. Love birds need to spend enough time together for the spark to last. Regular communication also makes them feel like you’re close.
So call or text everyday to find out about each other’s days and make plans to meet up. Do remember to follow through with the plans too.
Taking without giving
Lice, leeches and tapeworms are called parasites because they don’t add anything of value to our bodies. They just suck our blood and take our nutrients, leaving us with diseases. Human beings can be toxic parasites too.
What value do you add to your partner’s life? Or do they just exist to give you what you want when you want it? To test if that’s the case try and remember how you behaved the last time you didn’t have your way.
Jealousy can cross the line pretty fast. We know of husbands who have a fit every time their wives leave the house. Wives also cause a scene when they see their husbands talking to other women. All this stems from mistrust and possessiveness that spills into jealousy from a previous relationship. Your current beau might also have broken your trust along the line. Trust is one of the pillars of a good relationship so give it whole heartedly or be with someone you do trust.
Feeling like you’re faking things
If you ask yourself how you truly feel about your partner and the answer is not straight forward, there is a problem. Relationships aren’t supposed to feel like a chore. The best thing you can honestly do for one another is part ways or give put more effort in it.
We all deserve to be with someone that makes us happy. If you are not giving your partner your best but still expect the best from them, that is toxic.