Dating an older partner? Do this…

A few months ago stories of gospel artist Guardian Angel and his fiancée went viral following what was considered an unusual arrangement, given that Guardian is 32 years old while Esther is 51.

According to public opinion, the couple’s age difference should have been a deterring factor to their union. However, the two are still going strong. In fact, the love birds recently launched a YouTube channel celebrating their rare kind of love that has had many wondering whether it will last the turmoil that is society.

Guardian Angel and Esther represent a community of couples that found love without a feeling of guilt about their age difference. Internationally, we have seen a Hollywood couples with an even bigger age gap. Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones, for instance, have always raised an eyebrow when the issue of their ages came up as they have  a 25-year gap.

ALSO SEE: Does age really matter in relationships and marriages?

Here’s what these couples have to share:

Understand that age is just a number

When the heart loves, it loves. In fact,  some say once in love, the brain stops working. Therefore, the attraction between two adults can not be deterred by age.So long as the two of you are emotionally capable of sustaining the relationship, other factors become irrelevant. Consequently, if you are thinking of getting into such a relationship, consider your compatibility and emotional maturity more than just the age difference.

Photo by Mick Haupt / Unsplash

Uphold openness and honesty

The big age gap does not exempt such couples from habits that are essential for all relationships.  A healthy sustainable relationship is pegged on communication. Openness and honesty in communication is the key recipe to tackling any unforeseeable challenges such as naysayers who may try to influence your decision. Adapt this strategy for a longer lasting relationship.

Fully embrace your situation

There’s a big age difference between you two, so what! Who has the manual for how people should live their lives. Absolutely no one. Therefore, if you two find peace and love in each other, forget the age difference and live your lives. Be keen on discussing things that build your relationship rather that wasting time on the fact that can not be changed. However, if the issue of age comes up in your discussions more often, it could signal or be a rabbit hole to more issues in the future.

Appreciate your obvious distinctions

Seeing as your partner is older, try to learn as much as possible from them as they likely have knowledge based on experiences in life. There’s also a lot that they can learn from you as well so build up on these beneficial aspects as opposed to dwelling on the negatives that may come with the age factor.

Seek role models/counsellors

‘No man is an island’. It is indeed true. Isolating yourselves only means having no source of reference from people in similar situations or professionals such as counsellors.  A counsellor  helps establish communication patterns especially in the beginning of a relationship. This is the foundation a relationship needs in order to run the distance it is supposed to.

Establish common ground

This refers to hobbies, communication styles and how to meet each other’s needs. In some cases, this will extend to your sex life. Practice patience as you try to establish your unique needs. In case one party is unable to meet them at any given point remember the reasons that brought you two together. Understanding should be established you both should exercise patience when it comes to the emotional and mental maturity of the other.