When did attending someone’s family celebration become a declaration of political allegiance?
That is the question Kenyans should perhaps be asking themselves after President William Ruto’s daughter, Charlene Ruto, held her koito with Tanzanian entrepreneur Isaya Yunge in Kilgoris, Narok County. What should ordinarily have been a celebration of love, family, culture and friendship has instead spilt onto social media, where some guests have found themselves under scrutiny simply for showing up.
Among those caught in the conversation is journalist Larry Madowo, whose attendance attracted criticism from Kenyans who questioned how someone who has publicly criticised the Ruto administration could comfortably attend a family occasion involving the President’s family.
And just like that, a koito became a political examination.
But perhaps we have forgotten something rather important: people are allowed to have lives outside politics.
You can dislike a politician’s policies without disliking their children. You can criticise a government and still congratulate someone’s daughter on an important milestone. You can disagree passionately with someone’s politics and still sit at the same table, share a meal and wish them well.
These things are not mutually exclusive.
Kenya’s political culture, however, increasingly seems to demand political purity. Once you publicly oppose a political leader, there appears to be an unwritten rule that you must also avoid anyone connected to them. Attend their event, and you are a hypocrite. Take a photograph with them and suddenly your political convictions are questioned.
But must we really hate people simply because we disagree with them politically?
There is a difference between political accountability and social policing.
If a public figure supports a government policy, defends a controversial action or uses their platform to advance a political agenda, the public has every right to question that position. But attending a family ceremony does not automatically mean endorsing everything the President has done.
Nobody at the koito was required to sign a form declaring support for the government before entering the venue.
People went to celebrate a milestone.
Of course, context matters. Public figures, particularly journalists and activists, will naturally attract more scrutiny because their public positions are part of their professional identity. It is fair to ask questions when their actions appear inconsistent with what they have publicly said.
But questioning is not the same as condemning.
Perhaps the bigger problem is that we have become too comfortable with the idea that political disagreement must come with personal hostility. We have turned political camps into social identities, where “your side” determines who deserves your friendship, respect and even congratulations.
Yet politics changes. Leaders change. Governments change.
Human relationships should not have to survive every election cycle.
There is something almost amusing about our selective outrage. Politicians who spend election seasons attacking each other can later sit together at weddings, shake hands and share jokes. We call it diplomacy when politicians do it. But when ordinary people do the same, we call it betrayal.
A democracy is supposed to create room for disagreement. The person sitting across from you may have voted differently, criticised your favourite politician or supported an entirely different ideology, and still be your colleague, friend, neighbour or family member.
That is not hypocrisy. Sometimes, it is simply adulthood.
The Charlene Ruto koito has therefore given us something bigger to discuss than the guest list. It has shown us how deeply political division has entered our personal lives.
We should be able to hold leaders accountable without policing their families’ social circles. We should be able to disagree without becoming enemies.
Because not every handshake is an endorsement, not every invitation is an allegiance, and not every photograph is a political statement.
So, must we hate people and families we disagree with politically?
Absolutely not. We have enough problems to solve without adding our friends and families to the list.
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