We are all aware of the invincible weight men carry in society especially as fathers. Providers, husbands, mentors—their roles are many. Yet beneath the stoicism lies stress, anxiety, and—even depression. And the ways fathers cope are far from uniform—shaped by culture, resources, and personal resilience.
A recent survey around Eldoret revealed that many men use alcohol as an emotional escape: to numb financial pressures, cope with strained relationships, and dull anxious thoughts. A related study revealed that this escape often backfires—drinking becomes a cycle that worsens money troubles, family tension, and emotional distress .Mental health conditions are not uncommon. The WHO reports a 7.1 percent prevalence of alcohol use disorders among Kenyan men, with around 5 percent experiencing depressive symptoms. Yet stigma, traditional masculinity, and low awareness of formal services mean few fathers get help.
Alcohol often becomes the default coping tool. As one father admitted, “it helps but you don’t solve anything”. Indeed, temporary relief masks deeper troubles—money spent on drink means no food, no school fees, no peace at home. Meanwhile, excessive drinking worsens household conflicts and drives emotional distance from wives and children.
But fathers aren’t walking this path alone. Studies exploring informal help reveal how wives, extended families, and community leaders step in—offering calm advice, gentle confrontation, and sometimes spiritual support. As poverty and stigma push men toward crisis, these personal networks often become the springboard to change. One study on Eldoret’s LEAD program—“Learn, Engage, Act, Dedicate”—showed that peer-father lay counsellors could guide men toward healthier habits, combining motivational interviewing, behavioral activation, and masculinity-aware discussions. The program reported exceptional fidelity in delivery (94percent), strong acceptance by clients, and improvements in both drinking and depressive symptoms.
Beyond the Bottle: Healthier Coping Strategies
What alternatives might fathers embrace?
Research from urban Kenya and Tanzania suggests:Positive social support—spaces where men can speak without fear of judgment. Peer-led groups, like Men’s Sheds, adapted for Kenyan dads to share stories, skills, and mutual encouragement; Faith-based and spiritual reflection—prayer, church groups, or local community circles—fully integrated into practical interventions like LEAD; Behavioral activation—simple acts, like tracking money saved from not drinking or committing to family time, shown to improve motivation; Economic interventions—skills training or small savings goals that ease financial pressure and reduce emotional distress healthcare.
When fathers are supported—and reduce drinking—the benefits echo throughout the household. Partners and children in Eldoret noted quieter homes, better communication, and fathers arriving home on time—with both money and attention to share. Mothers reported renewed trust; children felt happier, safer, and more hopeful. Improved finances meant food on the table and school fees met.
In short, healing fathers helped heal families. Toward Father-Centered Interventions. So what might a father-friendly mental health approach look like in Kenya? Peer-led facilitation – training respected dads as counsellors, using culturally familiar tools and shared experience. Community tapping – leveraging churches, sports clubs, barazas—any neutral space where men talk and connect. Integrated coping – combining behavioral practices like family tracking with spaces for spiritual reflection and emotional expression. Economic pairing – linking mental wellbeing to livelihood support, easing stress from the root. Family focus – including spouses and children in sessions to help repair trust, communication, and resilience.
Men don’t need to fix everything themselves. Change is planted in quiet conversations with other dads over tea, in families that rally rather than accuse, in regular checks on simple savings and moods. Alcohol might be a tempting escape, but clearer paths lie in community, purpose, and connection.When fathers learn to ask for help—and society removes the shame—they open the door to their own healing and their family’s flourishing. In that space, men step beyond mere survival and into intentional fatherhood—present, steady, and connected.
