What to do after getting a second chance in a relationship

What to do after getting a second chance in a relationship
  • PublishedJuly 30, 2021

Human is to error, therefore, any two people in a relationship are bound to wrong one another. In such a case, it is advisable to come clean and to put measures in place to ensure the mistake does not put a strain on your relationship. The magnitude of mistakes committed in a relationship range from small ones to major issues like spending the families savings on extravagant trips.

Either way, the perpetrator needs to check their actions and to assure their partner that such a case would never repeat itself. So how do you reassure your partner to win back their trust?

Do not repeat the mistake

This goes without saying; the first step towards reassuring someone is by not repeating the same mistake that broke their trust in the first place. Otherwise, it will be a waste of a good second chance, considering your partner is now in doubt about the future of the relationship.

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Do not keep bringing it up in discussions/fights

Although forgetting may not be easy, both partners should endeavour to move on conclusively without revisiting hurtful moments in the past. One way to move on is by discussing the issue in totality. Allow each partner to get their pain out in the open so you could foster healing from a point of knowledge  

Bounce back from your mistake

Whatever happened should not keep you tied to the results of your mistake. You deserve to move on from the pain and rise again to your best self. Besides, remaining in a hurtful situation only proves that you are not ready for a second chance.

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Seek professional help if necessary

Depending on the level of destruction caused by the mistake, it would be prudent to seek the help of a counsellor/marriage therapist. These professionals provide a healthy environment to discuss what happened without causing further damage. They also lay out an ideal plan to be followed towards the restoration and healing process.

Aim to strengthen your relationship’s boundaries

Part of the reconciliation strategy that the marriage therapist will help you come up with will include a way of strengthening your boundaries. These will include actions that keep everyone else out of your marital affairs and ensure you manage your challenges like a team.

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Spend more time together

Photo by Everton Vila / Unsplash

Since the normal flow of your relationship may have been distorted, it is critical that you work on rebuilding the foundations of your relationship. This may require you to spend time together to reestablish a friendship that would feel odd in the beginning but that should get better with time.

Spend time, talking about the things that make you two a great team and engaging in activities that bring you closer together.

Choosing to work things out after a stalemate, is usually a difficult decision that should be received with encouragement and intentionality from both parties. However, it should be something both parties decide on wholeheartedly otherwise it beats the purpose.

All the very best as you try to navigate this confusing season of your life! Eventually, everything makes sense.

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