‘Women are more emotional’: How a Persistent Myth Exposes Women to Financial Harm

When foreign national content creator Melinda Lucy shared her story of losing KSh 30 million to a Kenyan ex-boyfriend in a staged real estate deal, public reaction followed a predictable pattern. While many expressed sympathy, underlying discussions often pivoted to familiar tropes, insinuating that she had let “emotions” cloud her judgment or that women are inherently more trusting, impulsive, or guided by feelings in relationships.

For decades, popular culture has perpetuated the idea that women are the “more emotional” sex, while men are uniquely equipped with cold, rational logic. But what does psychological science actually say about gender and emotion? More importantly, how does this persistent stereotype leave women vulnerable to financial exploitation and romance scams?

Emotion and gender

Psychologists and behavioural researchers have long challenged the blanket claim that women are inherently more emotional than men. Extensive research reveals it is a nuanced reality:

• Psychological studies show that men and women experience baseline emotional states at remarkably similar intensities. Where they differ is in socialised expression. From childhood, girls are often socialised to express empathy, warmth, and relational feelings, while boys are taught to suppress vulnerability.
• Society frequently categorises feelings like sadness, empathy, or anxiety as emotional, while viewing anger, pride, or ambition as non-emotional or logical. A man acting on anger or ego is rarely described as being emotional,nyet a woman acting out of empathy or trust is quickly labelled as such.
• Scammers do not succeed because women are overly emotional; they succeed by weaponising systemic psychological manipulation.

How fraudsters exploit

In Melinda Lucy’s experience, her ex-boyfriend built trust systematically over several months. He began with small investments (KSh 500,000 and KSh 2 million) that returned promised profits, establishing a track record of legitimacy before pitching the KSh 30 million Kajiado land acquisition.

When perpetrators execute complex romance or investment schemes, they intentionally target core prosocial traits:

1. Leveraging empathy and vision: Women are frequently socialised to nurture relationships and support their partner’s growth. Fraudsters exploit this by framing financial pitches as shared family goals, community investments, or trust-building exercises.
2. The illusion of security through incremental proof: Returning initial smaller funds creates a false sense of logic and safety. The target is not acting on blind emotion; they are acting on manufactured evidence provided by the perpetrator.
3. Weaponising social expectations: Victims are often reluctant to challenge a partner’s financial claims out of concern for preserving relational harmony, a social expectation disproportionately placed on women.

Structural empowerment

Labelling victims of financial fraud as “too emotional” or “naïve” shifts accountability away from the perpetrator and overlooks the psychological mechanics of fraud. Protecting women and family assets requires moving past gendered stereotypes and adopting rigorous, systemic financial habits:

• Normalise independent verification in relationships: Conducting land registry searches, verifying property titles with registered advocates, and engaging independent surveyors should be treated as standard financial practice, not a sign of distrust.
• Separate love from financial liability: Emotional intimacy does not require joint financial exposure. Major capital transfers, loans, or joint business ventures must always undergo formal legal due diligence.
• Dismantle emotional stigma: Women must feel empowered to enforce strict financial boundaries without fear of being labelled cold, suspicious, or unsupportive.

Melinda Lucy’s courage in sharing her story shines a necessary light on a critical issue. True financial safety comes not from suppressing empathy, but from pairing genuine trust with unquestioned legal and financial verification.

For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!