If you’re constantly feeling insecure in your romantic relationship, it can have major effects on your partner, as well as yourself. Problems arise when these feelings of insecurity are too overwhelming or chronic to be dealt with in a healthy way.
Here are healthier ways to deal with insecurity in your relationship.
Build your self-esteem
The first step to coping with insecurities is to build your self-esteem. If you feel good about yourself, you’ll feel better about your relationship as well. Part of building self-esteem is recognizing your positive qualities and attributes and accepting yourself for who you are.
Find out the root cause of your insecurity
Learning the root cause of your insecurity can help you face it head on. You may have low self-esteem or trust issues from a past relationship that are causing you to feel insecure in this one. Once you know what’s causing the insecurity, you can work on challenging those beliefs that are making you feel unworthy or unlovable.
Trust yourself and your partner
Trusting yourself and trusting your partner is important for overcoming insecurities in a relationship. Instead of questioning his intentions, trust that he’s being honest with you — unless there’s evidence that he isn’t being honest, such as repeated lies or broken promises.
When you’re worrying about what might happen later in the day or freaking out about something you think your partner said, you are not living in the moment. The only thing that is happening right now is you sitting there reading this article. You can only control what’s happening in the present moment, not what may or may not happen later.
Staying present means that instead of getting lost in thinking about something that hasn’t even happened yet, you can come back to your senses and engage with your partner on a deeper level.
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It also means that you have more energy and mental space to enjoy doing things together with your partner. When you are lost in obsessive thinking, it’s easy to let the joy slip away and feel tense and depressed instead.
In order to stop negative thoughts from taking over all of your attention, try practicing mindfulness meditation for just five minutes every day. This helps you develop an awareness of when your mind has wandered off into insecure thoughts and helps you build a healthy relationship.
The best way to stop insecurity ruining your relationship is to know the root cause of your insecurity and deal with it.