Get your SEX life in SHAPE

 Do you worry about how your body looks when you are naked? Does this affect your sex life? Are you fit enough for sex or you tire easily? Do you eat to boost your libido? Are you confident when it comes to talking about sex and actually doing it? The answers to these questions can help determine how healthy your sex life is. Read on to get more understanding…

 Physical fitness, a healthy diet, confidence and the right mental attitude are the ingredients of a great sex life. We look at each of these ingredients individually to help you get the sex you always wanted.

Get active to enjoy better sex…

Believe it or not, your fitness level is linked to how much you are able to enjoy sex. When you exercise, your brain releases endorphins that improve your mood and relax you. This is the state of mind required for your body to feel fully aroused. It’s not that you can’t have a love life without exercising. It’s just that you enjoy it more when you are getting the mind and body benefits of exercise. You have more sexual endurance when you stay active. And you don’t have to join a gym to keep fit and healthy. All you need is to include in your daily routine some activity that keeps your body moving.

Being fit also has a positive impact on your body confidence. The real-life gains you achieve at the gym – say, being able to lift more weight or run an extra ten minutes on the treadmill – give you an incredible sense of power and accomplishment. You feel the same way when you complete a 10km charity walk or participate in a marathon. The pride of being physical fit and in good shape makes you feel healthier and sexier inside and out. You radiate a glowing feeling of being healthy and sexy and in turn your partner becomes even more attracted to you.

You have more sexual appeal when you are in good physical shape. A daily exercise regimen has many benefits. The rush of a vigorous workout improves your mood, you have more energy, and you feel more attractive. It is not surprising how your workout boosts your libido and leads you to want more sex and enjoy it more.

What gets you going, like a vigorous walk, a jog on the treadmill, an aerobic or yoga class, or a gym session with weights are not only good for your health, but also for your sex life. Most people will hit the gym expecting a healthy body but a healthy sex life becomes a bonus. Getting stronger, leaner and fitter is what pushes most people to exercise but when you achieve all these, you reap the libido-boosting benefits of exercise, especially when you do cardio sessions. When you are exercising regularly, sex is better and you are more flexible to engage in sexual gymnastics that bring you heightened orgasms.

If you are used to regular exercise, you will find that your sexual desire will plummet when you skip a few workouts. The best time to make love is right after your exercise. Both men and women feel more in the mood for sex after a workout. So, if you work out in the evenings, you will find a session of sex before going to sleep a most soothing and rewarding gift. You could also treat yourself to great sex on those days you are not working, such as Saturdays and public holidays, by starting your day in the gym or taking a vigorous walk or run, followed by an invigorating shower and sex.

The body parts that make most people cringe the most during sex include the abdomen, the butt and thighs, breasts, arm and back. If you are one of those people who are conscious about any of these parts of your body, target them during your workouts. If you work out in a gym, ask your instructor to help you target areas of concern. If weight is your problem or your partner does not view you as sexy because of your weight, then work on reducing it through exercise and a healthy diet.

Being in shape also does factor in dating, as most people would prefer partners who look healthy and not overweight. This applies to both men and women. But not everyone looks at weight as an issue though it is in your interest to keep it in control. There are more important attributes like humor, compassion, being smart and successful that people look out for when starting a relationship.

Eat right for super sex…

There is some truth to the belief that certain foods can get you in the mood for sex. But eating chocolate and oysters, or drinking red wine is not going to make you amorous. Most of the so-called aphrodisiac foods do nothing to fuel your libido. However, a healthy diet comprising of lean meat, deep green vegetables, and brightly coloured fruits is not only good for keeping you healthy and your weight in control, but is also good for sexual vitality. These foods boost blood flow to your heart and sex organs, which will help you become aroused, increase lubrication, and better your chances of orgasm.

You may count calories and watch what you eat, but to really feed your libido, filling your plate with the right types of food, which are well presented, is key. Indeed, food or the art of eating are sexy activities and most intimate romance happens on the dinner table. How you eat your food can also add to the romance. Sharing food with your partner, whether you are eating at home or in a restaurant may create a more intimate mood. Feeding each other bites of food can definitely set the tone for certain after-dinner activities, such as sex. Both men and women men find a lovingly prepared meal has the ability to trigger passion. Many people also find drinking wine or cocktails lowers their inhibitions and it is a good idea to have a glass of wine with your meal if you intend to get down to business between the sheets later.

Get confident and feel sexier…

The key to mind-blowing sex is learning to get out of your head, in other words removing all negative thoughts and distractions from your mind during sex. A woman who does not have body confidence may be worrying about the position that will make her stomach appear flatter, while her partner may be fully focused on the pleasure of the moment. Worrying about other things during sex makes you miss out on the real thing. Its important for women, who are more likely to have body issues, to understand that their partner is not imagining them slimmer or cataloging their perceived flaws when making love. A man who loves you and cares will be turned on by the way you look, no matter what. Another downfall about obsessing over your body during sex is that you may seem disinterested, which is a turn-off for men. Focus on your partner, not your perceived flaws.

Try to put aside your insecurities and pay more attention to what gets you and your partner excited. Men are visual and they like to look at women’s bodies. They get excited when you are confident enough to allow them look at your naked body. Both men and women should let their partners know they are secure in their looks, despite any flaws. Creating the mood and environment for sex helps to boost your confidence. Slip on silky lingerie, sip red wine together, bathe together in a bath full of aromatic bath oils and bubbles, play suggestive music, decorate the bedroom with sensuous colours and light scented candles… Setting the stage for a romantic night shows your partner you are putting some thought and energy into your relationship, and he or she will appreciate and respond to the extra effort you make.

From getting naked to trying a new position, most people find the pleasure they get in bed connects to how assured they are in their looks. Some people find it extremely difficult to strip down in full view of their partner as this makes them feel self-conscious and anxious, but many are comfortable with being fully naked and actually find it quite arousing. You really can’t enjoy good sex unless you feel confident and secure being completely naked in front of your partner.

Are you comfortable making love with lights on? If you are not, then you may have issues, which you need to deal with. Those who are conscious about their bodies and the way they react and look when making love would prefer lights out. Some people find it romantic making love when the lights are a bit dimmed and this is perfectly okay. When you don’t have body confidence, you will prefer total darkness. It adds to the thrill to see your partner react when they enjoy what you are doing to each other. It also makes you a better lover when you know what your partner likes. Most partners enjoy sex tremendously when both are able to reach orgasm. Loving and caring couples will ensure they do whatever it takes to both achieve it.

The other indicator of how confident you are sexually is how often you initiate sex. Though most women want to be seen as strong, independent and empowered, initiating sex often places them in the backseat. Majority of women wait for their partner to give the signal and yet majority of men wish women would make the first move. They find this so arousing. Most men like women who are more adventurous in the bedroom. Become that woman and your man will reward you with great sex.

Stress kills libido…

Most people feel that it’s tough to get ready for love when they are under pressure. While most people can’t avoid stressful long workdays or noisy and demanding kids, you can use the following tips to lift your libido even when you are frazzled.

Wind down. When you get home, close the door on the pressure of the day and sit down to read a chapter of a novel or an uplifting book like the bible, sip a cup of tea or some wine, or talk to your partner. Ten to thirty minutes will help you wind down.

Stop saving lovemaking for last. One of the reasons so many people, especially women, say “not tonight, darling” is because they can’t get in the mood after a long day of running around. Try having sex first thing in the morning instead. It’s the best time of day for men to have sex because their testosterone level is highest, and you will feel well rested and refreshed after a good night’s sleep. You should programme your alarm to wake you up a little earlier when you intend to have sex. Good sex in the morning sets the tone for your day.

Work it out. Excess cortisol is not only bad for your sex life, but also causes you to store fat around your middle. Even mild exercise such as walking or cleaning the house can reduce your cortisol levels and brighten your spirits and also make you feel more amorous.

Allow body contact. When you have had a difficult day, just letting your partner massage your shoulders or stroke your arm can relax you. It doesn’t have to lead to sex, but you will find it often does, because touch can comfort, console, release tension, and arouse.

Don’t entertain off-putting concerns…

Another libido destroyer is thinking too much about things that are likely to put you off sex. Here are the top ones you must be aware of.

Previous partners. Men may act like they have had a wealth of experience with women and this is likely to worry the woman, yet its not important. Don’t put too much thought on guessing how many partners your lover has gone through and whether you match up to them.

Experience. Some people expect excellence in bed from their lovers but not many people will stand out as great lovers because they may not have the experience. You can teach each other sexual techniques that will make you experts. This is the best experience.

Mood. Many people worry about getting in the mood for sex but if truth be told almost 80 percent of men will feel aroused on any given time and day and only about 50 percent of women, so women need to be given a bit more time to get excited.

Gratification. Does sex leave you fulfilled? It’s important that couples constantly evaluate their sex life to see if they are getting gratification. They also need to talk about what they need to do to ensure they remain satisfied with their sex life and don’t get into a rut.

Published on July 2013