BOND OF LOVE: A Lesson in Compromise

John Ng’ang’a, an entrepreneur, and Njeri Nduati, an administrator, met while serving in the music ministry in their church. Over time a friendship blossomed and they started dating. This was

  • PublishedMay 23, 2014

John Ng’ang’a, an entrepreneur, and Njeri Nduati, an administrator, met while serving in the music ministry in their church. Over time a friendship blossomed and they started dating. This was cut short by a breakup but they eventually reconnected, resolved their differences and later tied the knot. Theirs is not a fairly love tale as they shared with ESTHER KIRAGU.

A colleague referred me to John and Njeri Nduati, describing them as a lovely couple that recently had a superb wedding. And so after contacting them on phone and making all the needed arrangements we settled down for this interview on a Monday afternoon.

John and Njeri met in 2008 while serving in the music ministry in their church. “I noticed Njeri wore a flashy ring. I automatically concluded that she was engaged and when I asked her about it, she confirmed my fears. I expressed my disappointment to which she laughed and admitted she was pulling my leg and wasn’t attached to anyone but loved wearing her dressy ring. I recall being so relieved,” says a good-humored John recalling the initial contact with his wife.

This shared humour opened doors to a friendship between the two. They often met in church during music practice sessions. Within no time they were spending more and time together having coffee or just chatting. As their friendship blossomed, they grew very fond of each other. John, 27, and Njeri, 31, moved their friendship to the next level and started dating in August 2009.

Dating and courtship

The couple says things were great in the relationship at the beginning but over time they began fighting about everything. “We both had expectations. I, for instance, was a stickler to my own rules. I guess I was somewhat afraid Njeri would want to change me and so I put my foot down and wouldn’t compromise about anything,” John explains.

After eight months of dating, they both had enough of the fights and they broke up. “I was very miserable and turned to God to help me deal with the pain. Despite it being a gloomy time, it was also a season to purge and re-evaluate myself, my expectations and the role I played in the break up of the relationship,” Njeri explains.

A couple of months after the breakup, John tried to get in touch with Njeri hoping for reconciliation. An adamant Njeri wouldn’t give him a chance having been so hurt by the break-up. “I didn’t give up. I just kept calling and texting her with suggestions that  we should meet up and talk things over but she kept turning me down,” says John.

“My persistence paid off when she eventually agreed to meet me. We talked for hours and re-evaluated ourselves,” John adds. After being apart for a year they reconciled and started dating again. They had both learnt the importance of compromise as well as ways of dealing with conflicts amicably.

Surprise proposal and wedding

John proposed to Njeri on April 2012 over dinner at the couple’s favourite restaurant in Westlands, Nairobi. An elated Njeri did not hesitate in accepting to marry the man she had grown to love so much. Thereafter, the couple informed their parents and family about their decision to marry and dowry negotiations and other plans were set in motion.

During the traditional dowry ceremony, also known as Ruracio in Kikuyu, the two families had a pleasant surprise on realising that they were long time family friends. “The ceremony turned out to be a great re-union party,” says a grateful Njeri.

They put together a wedding committee made up of close friends to help coordinate tasks related to the wedding. Their love story culminated in a beautiful wedding on December 22, 2012 at the St. Andrew’s Cathedral, Thika, followed by a reception at the Cool Breeze Garden in Muthaiga.

Their black and red themed wedding cost Ksh 600,000 and was financed through personal savings and contributions from friends and family. “Family and friends really came through for us and we had a memorable day,” says the couple who believe there are nothing without God.

They flew to Dubai for their honeymoon.

We wish them God’s blessings and guidance in their marriage.



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