It’s a new year and a chance for new beginnings! Perhaps you were single all of last year or had a recent break-up, and are longing to get back into a relationship. How do you find your way back to the dating scene? One of the principles that guide my life is to always be the catalyst of my own happiness. This mantra can work very well for you in relationships. If you believe in yourself and your ability to bring happiness to your life, with time you will bring love your way. It sounds simple enough and the truth is, it is that easy.
All you need to do is make a few positive adjustments to the way you look at life and yourself, and love will come knocking. As you make plans to change certain things in your life in order to attract love, the important thing to remember is that you must be comfortable with those changes as it serves no purpose to become someone you are not to please someone else. Here are a few useful tips:
Change your attitude
It makes a difference to have a positive outlook to life. When you are positive, you draw positive people to yourself. No one wants a partner who is always finding fault with everything in his or her life. Even if you have been hurt in the past, get over it and learn that not every person is a heartbreaker. Talk about what you like as opposed to what you dislike, and generally focus on your good side.
If you have nothing nice to say about yourself, don’t say anything at all. Women are notorious for giving themselves time limits, for example, setting a deadline by which they MUST get married and therefore view every man who comes their way as a potential husband. Such expectations only bring frustration when your hopes are dashed. Take a new relationship as it comes and don’t try to rush things. You may or may not have a happy ending but at least you’ll still have your sanity.
Improve your appearance
Nothing is a greater turn-off than a person who is sloppy about their looks and how they carry themselves. Improving your appearance doesn’t mean spending a fortune on designer clothes and shoes; rather it is about making small and simple adjustments to your wardrobe, grooming and presentation. Invest in a new hairstyle, add some accessories such as jewelry and scarves to your wardrobe, and wear clothes that fit you and flatter your figure. It also means that you should watch your weight through a healthy diet and regular exercise.
But you should not be overly concerned about your weight as not everyone is meant to be slim. Just be comfortable in your own body and carry it with pride and dignity. If you wish you can put on some make-up to enhance your natural beauty but keep it as natural looking as possible and appropriate for the time of day and occasion. Your appearance is more than the clothes you wear. Having confidence in yourself and your abilities goes a long way in helping you meet and strike up friendships with other people. You can be expressive without being domineering; outgoing but not a loud mouth; or shy but not anti-social.
Get a hobby
When you have something to keep you busy then you have less time to worry about your single status or feel sorry for yourself. Hobbies and other activities give you a chance to improve on yourself, which in turn makes you more attractive to other people. Try to involve others in your hobbies or activities because it presents an opportunity to build your social skills. Enroll in a salsa class instead of dancing alone in the house, or find a karaoke place near your home instead of singing in the shower. Who knows? You might meet someone in the process. After all, one of the best foundations of a relationship is having common interests.
Give up bad habits
Every person has a list of pet peeves. Some are peculiar to them while others are common in most people. If you think your peculiar habits are keeping love away from you, try and make some changes. A heavy smoker or an alcoholic, for example, is likely to decrease his or her chances of finding a partner than someone who doesn’t. In the same way, someone who lacks manners or proper etiquette may lose out to a more cultured prospect. So the next time you’re tempted to crack a dirty joke during a date, think about how poorly you may be portraying yourself to your prospective partner. It may take a little longer than you expect to drop a bad habit, but don’t give up because it will be all worth it in the end.
Don’t be too slow
The saying ‘strike while the iron is still hot’ comes to mind here. An instant attraction between two people is rare and sometimes fickle so you have to take advantage of it early enough. Once you have identified someone you like and who seems to like you too, start a conversation as soon as possible. Taking too long to make a move may be interpreted to mean you are not interested. After a week of frequent e-mails or texts back and forth, it is perfectly okay to arrange a meeting over coffee or lunch. However, there is a thin line between being swift and being desperate.
Asking someone to be in a relationship with you on the first date is a bit too much. Express your interest in them but don’t force their hand. There are many other things you can do to improve your luck in love but remember that something has to change within or outside yourself. What do you think you need to change? Ponder on that for a while. Ask other people how they changed their dating routines – their methods may work for you too!