Why young men date older women – A YOUNG MAN’S PERSPECTIVE

Cases of young men hooking up with older women have become a common trend in Kenya. Mostly, the woman in this kind of relationship is referred to as a ‘cougar.’ This month we look at why young men prefer older women from the eyes of a 20-something-year old.

A young man dating an older woman has become a common thing not only internationally but also locally. In fact, some women who have been in such a relationship claim that younger men are easier to be in a relationship with because they attend to their needs better than men their age.

Some examples of thriving relationships are those of Prince Harry, 33, who married Meghan Markle, 36, in May 2018; American actor Ashton Kutcher who married Demi Moore in 2005 while he was 27 and she was 43 and American basketballer Dwayne Wade who is 10 years younger than his actress wife Gabrielle Union.

Here at home, we have examples such as that of gospel artist Bahati who is six years younger than his wife Diana Marua. In Tanzania, Bongo artist Diamond Platinumz was previously in a relationship with Zari Hassan who was 11 years his senior. The two have two children together.
Dr Karatu Kiemo, a sociology scholar at the University of Nairobi says that relationships are no longer dependent on age but the satisfaction individuals get from the union, adding they are signs that the society is undergoing transformation. A 20-something-year old young man tells us the advantages of dating a woman older than him.

Older women have lower expectations from men: This is because most of them have already achieved what they want in life and therefore don’t necessarily expect any reinforcements from men to satisfy their material needs. All what they are looking for is love and compassion. This takes away some pressure from a man to support the relationship financially. The young man also gets to benefit financially. This is in contrast to dating young women who look up to the man to provide for them.

Older women are confident and mature: Older women have their own lives and they are not likely to demand much attention from the young men they are dating. Because of age and experience, they are also more assertive hence there is no second-guessing with them. And when it comes to sex, older women know exactly what they want in bed. They have understood and accepted their bodies and they aren’t afraid to ask for sex which young men find exciting.

Older women are realistic: Usually, older women already know how relationships work and they are more experienced when it comes to matters of love and sex and do not put unrealistic expectations on men. They can tell whether the relationship is going to last or not. They also tend to have experienced both economic and social problems, which make them more understanding. They don’t ask for money and instead work for it. These women have been through a lot more in their life and they have the ability to control their emotions and behaviour. Older women also know what to do when and where to do it. They don’t spend their cash on unimportant things or start unnecessary drama and this makes the relationship more stable. If for some reason the relationship ends, both parties part ways amicably with a ‘it was good while it lasted’ tag.