Healthy Loving Calls for Hard Work

A healthy relationship can be realised through understanding, evaluation and hard work, and knowing that good things do not come easy.It’s perfectly normal to walk around with your head in

  • PublishedNovember 1, 2011

A healthy relationship can be realised through understanding, evaluation and hard work, and knowing that good things do not come easy.It’s perfectly normal to walk around with your head in the clouds when you start a new relationship. Everything appears to be as it should and you are at peace with the world. However, when this bubble eventually bursts, you’re forced to face reality. This is when you see your relationship for what it really is, good or bad. It is also the time to evaluate your relationship. Is it a healthy one? What can be done to improve it? There are several qualities you can look out for that can tell you whether or not you are in a healthy relationship.

Trust and honesty. Are you secure in each other’s love? Both of you should trust in the fact that should the relationship face challenges, your love would stand. You should be loved for who you are and not what you do or what you have. You should also trust your partner with other people and both of you should own up to your feelings and mistakes. Honesty is a component of trust.

Good communication. This may be through body language or other media, like phone calls, text messages or emails. Good communication requires openness and understanding. Your relationship should be a safe haven where you can both express your needs, wants, dreams, worries, secrets, and anything else without fear of judgement.

Equality. Do you find yourself dictating what you and your partner do most of the time? If you do, that is an unhealthy aspect of your relationship. It is necessary that there be a balance in your relationship so that both of you feel like equals. One person should not be in control of the relationship; it is a give and take where you both share in the decision-making and compromise. Both your needs should be met in your relationship.

Mutual respect. This means that both you and your partner accept and are proud of each other. A healthy relationship also requires you to listen to, and value each other’s ideas and opinions. Relationships that lack respect can be hurtful as a result of the insults and unkind words that may be said.

Fun and laughter. You and your significant other need to be able to appreciate and enjoy each other’s sense of humour. This doesn’t mean that you should always find humour in the same things but that you’re able to help each other cheer up during difficult times. You should also be able to loosen up and be playful with each other. It may not seem like it, but laughter and fun play big roles in a healthy relationship.

Enjoying time spent together and apart. It is natural to want to spend lots of time together and you should enjoy each other’s company as much as you can. However, you both need to have other friends and interests so you’re not fully dependent on each other. You should be comfortable and secure enough in your relationship to let one another spend time with other friends and pursue personal interests. Otherwise the relationship becomes restrictive and suffocating, which makes it an unhealthy one.

Conflict resolution. How do you resolve conf lict in your relationship? Conf licts are inevitable in any type of relationship. No one is perfect and one time or another you will step on each other’s toes. How you resolve your conf licts tells how healthy your relationship is. You should have a technique of doing this. You may decide to walk away from the conflict and deal with it later when you’re both level-headed. Sweeping your problems under the carpet is not an effective way of handling conflicts. Neither is getting physical or bringing up past issues.

It’s important to understand that just because an aspect mentioned above is missing, doesn’t mean you are in an unhealthy relationship. It may only mean that you and your partner need to work on developing that particular aspect of your relationship.

The factors required for a healthy relationship do not come naturally just because two people love each other. These are nurtured by the efforts of two people committed to the success of their relationship. Everyone deserves to feel happy and safe in his or her relationship. Work hard for a healthy one.

Written By