Ladies, which male would you choose?

But either ‘type’ of brain can be taught to function against its innate physiology, especially so if cultural and societal expectations are particularly rigid and demanding. For example, the first rule of the boy code that showing weakness or vulnerable emotions are inappropriate for the masculine; what boys learn is that the expression of any so-called feminine feelings will quickly bring mockery, ridicule, rejection and other forms of social disapproval. Research backs this up stating that men’s expectation to be strong and stoic actually inhibits their means of using the word love, and that meekness makes men seem less confident and ambitious, more weak and insecure. These gender expectations may in turn push men into a repressed emotional state where acting ‘feminine’ with their emotions, such as crying, venting to someone else, or even verbally expressing emotions is strictly looked down upon.

However, if we raise our little boys to disdain everything that is ‘feminine’, are we to be surprised when they grow up to disrespect women or disregard ‘feminine’ emotions? If we continue to celebrate hyper-masculinity as a society, expect chronic exhibitions of strength and devalue situations where both boys and males allow themselves to be exposed as vulnerable then what is this nonsense about chastising insensitivity and wanting sensitive partners?

Finally back to those doors…I earnestly want to tell you that after this intense biology lesson I’ve learnt my lesson and will always select Door #2. But alas, for some reason my tremendously rationale female brain is telling me that if I just keep knocking on Door #1 hard enough, if I keep nagging loud enough, and if I truly do believe, my macho man can be molded into the exact perfect balance I’m seeking. Am I right ladies?

njeri@parents.co.ke