Editorial

The Science of Spring Fever

What on earth does this have to do with spring fever? Not only do we have more of this stuff in our system during the warm spring weather, it turns

  • PublishedJune 1, 2012

What on earth does this have to do with spring fever? Not only do we have more of this stuff in our system during the warm spring weather, it turns out that dopamine just loves novelty, unpredictability and anticipation. And what is spring if not novel, unpredictable and boiling with anticipation?

SO, with all this vital information I have come up with an algorithm that explains the science of spring fever:

Sudden Increase in Sunlight + Warmer Weather = (Hyperactive Energizer Bunnies + Happy, Happy, Happy Gorgeous Models) x Exposed Flesh = Sex Crazed Insomniac Adults Acting Like Teenagers x (Optimistic, Focused & Motivated Virile Men/2) x 10(Dopamine) = A Recipe for Disaster = AKA Spring Fever

Now you’re probably wondering what any of this has to do with you, nestled far away in the confines of year-round sunny Kenyan weather. Well, with my life-saving formula I offer some words of advice:

• Fathers, it’s probably best to keep your daughters at bay during springtime in NYC.

• Mothers, best to brush up on those restraint and self-control lessons for your sons.

• Ladies, be careful, use protection and know that those biceps aren’t as big as you think they are.

• Gentlemen, most of you probably suffer from spring fever all year round so I don’t have much advice for you.

As for the rest of us, looks like we’re pretty much doomed, as our ‘Friend Owl’ from the Disney classic Bambi stated:

“Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime. For example: You’re walking along, minding your own business. You’re looking neither to the left, nor to the right, when all of a sudden you run smack into a pretty face. You begin to get weak in the knees. Your head’s in a whirl. And then you feel light as a feather, and before you know it, you’re walking on air. And then you know what? You’re knocked for a loop, and you completely lose your head!”
njeri@parents.co.ke

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