x
Close
Editorial Feature

Understanding Fertility: The Unseen Struggles

Understanding Fertility: The Unseen Struggles
  • PublishedJuly 18, 2025

As we look forward to the upcoming Fertility Awareness Event scheduled to take place on Saturday, August 16, 2025, at Golden Tulip Hotel, Westlands, Nairobi, we’re reminded that some of the deepest health struggles are the ones we can’t see. The event is designed to spark open, informed conversations around fertility, provide credible support, and raise public awareness around the social, emotional, and structural dimensions of fertility challenges and reproductive health.

The event will bring together fertility specialists, lived experience voices, support organizations, adoption and surrogacy services, and everyday Kenyans seeking answers, hope, and clarity. It will also feature interactive consultation booths—offering a safe, stigma-free space for information sharing, emotional support, and connection.

But long before any of us walks into that room, it’s worth pausing to reflect.

You can only imagine what it feels like to be diagnosed with fertility challenges. The weight of the word alone. The conversations it demands in your marriage, the way it spills into your work life, how it changes friendships and family dynamics. But deeper than that, there are the quiet, everyday struggles—small moments, offhand jokes, casual comments—that make the journey harder. These are the parts less talked about. And they deserve our attention.

You might not see it, but it’s there—in the way someone hesitates when asked to fill out a form that includes “Number of children?” with no space for “None” or “Still trying.” It’s in the smile that stiffens when a colleague passes around baby photos or when a friend’s toddler says something adorable and someone says, “So…when’s your turn?” These are the everyday stings that sit on top of an already heavy emotional load.

The pain doesn’t always come from harsh words. Often, it’s the innocent ones. The family member who jokes, “You’re not getting any younger!” at a gathering. The taxi driver who offers unsolicited herbal remedies for “that problem.” Even a preacher, well-meaning and passionate, who refers to children as “God’s greatest blessing”—leaving those who are still waiting to wonder if they’ve been overlooked.

For people struggling with fertility, there are few safe spaces. Some work in schools or childcare centers, surrounded by the laughter of children they long for but haven’t had. Some avoid baby showers or christenings, not out of bitterness but self-preservation. And when they do show up, they smile for the camera, help serve cake, and later cry quietly on the ride home. The world keeps spinning around a rhythm they are no longer in sync with.

Churches, too, can be complicated spaces. Faith communities often mean well, but the way they speak about parenthood can alienate. Testimonies about “miracle babies” and “wombs being opened” can bring hope to some, but they can also carry sharp undertones for someone who’s been in that prayer line a dozen times without a breakthrough. What happens when praise becomes pressure?

That’s why kindness and awareness matter. Because we don’t always know who is hurting. Someone could be in the middle of IVF treatment. Another might have just had a miscarriage and hasn’t found the words to share. Someone else could be considering adoption, or may have quietly chosen to stop trying after years of loss. Fertility struggles are private battles that play out in public spaces—homes, offices, family WhatsApp groups—and they often go unacknowledged until someone dares to speak up.

Choosing to be sensitive is not about avoiding joy or walking on eggshells. It’s about noticing. It’s about offering space for others, even when you don’t fully understand what they’re going through. It’s saying “I see you” without needing them to explain.

So as we look to attending the event on August 16 to listen to experts and learn from those with lived experiences, let’s start by changing the way we talk and act in our everyday lives. Let’s stop making assumptions about people’s journeys. Let’s ask better questions—or choose to say nothing at all. Let’s remember that for some, hope is a delicate thing held together by faith, persistence, and quiet resilience.

In a society where family is often central to identity, it takes courage to walk a different path—or to be stuck on one that feels like it’s going nowhere. Let’s not make that walk any harder. Let’s meet people where they are, with understanding and without judgement.

Because everyone deserves dignity. Everyone deserves compassion. And everyone—whether a parent or still hoping to become one—deserves to feel like they belong.

ParentsAfrica’s Fertility Awareness Event
Written By
Muinde Brian

Muinde Brian is a versatile communications professional with a strong background in writing, brand management, and community engagement. Based in Nairobi, Kenya, he has contributed impactful stories for Parents Africa, VibeYetu, and his personal blog, Muinde Basics. Passionate about using storytelling to empower communities, Muinde also serves as the Secretary and Communications Manager at the Kibra Youth Boxing Initiative, where he promotes youth development through sports. With expertise in project management, speech writing, and content development, he is dedicated to making a positive impact through compelling narratives.

Leave a Reply