What you need to know about breaking up with someone you love

If breaking up with some you have come to dislike is hard, then breaking up with someone you love is going to gut you. Here is everything you need to know about breaking up.

Before the Breakup

Rethink your doubts

Take a step back and look at what your doubts are actually about. Is it one thing that is causing the doubt or are there other issues? Does the doubt stem from something inside you or somewhere else?

Doubts are not uncommon in relationships. However, when doubt is increasingly and dominantly disturbing you, then it could be genuine and could be a sign that the relationship has run its course.

Sometimes love is not enough

It is important to talk about the things that make or break each of you. This could be about whether you want children or not, or even where you want to live. Such things need to be addressed as they will affect the outcome of your relationship.

Be honest with each other when love is no longer enough. It is key that you are both on the same page and if not, part your ways despite your feelings for each other. It’s difficult but healthier.

Just do it!

If you decide to break up with your partner, do it! It does not matter how beautiful or handsome they are.  Switch on your will-power button and drive through the hard wall. When you make the decision, then there is no turning back.

Brace yourself

Break-ups are hard to go through. It is a painful process that can even cause depression and you might need a therapist to talk to.  Some people say that emotional pain is worse than physical pain. Whatever the case, the bottom line is that you need to be prepared.

The break up remains a sober decision despite all the pain.

During the Breakup

Break up in person

Having been in a relationship, there is a bond that requires to be honoured by meeting your partner and breaking up in person. Find a place where both of you are comfortable and talk. An email or text won’t do.

Be courageous and face him or her. It will not be easy but it will be necessary.  An in-person break-up is a show of respect and stern resolve.

Be open and honest

Be prepared for a reaction. Whatever reaction it is, be prepared to face it with openness and honesty. Keep calm and deal with it. Your partner will need a lot of questions answered. Why? How? When? What? It matters that you do your best to answer them truthfully. This emptying of your soul is what will give you a clean slate, knowing that you did your best to give closure.

After the Breakup

Take care of your heart

Breaking up does not mean that your feelings for each other die immediately. You will miss your ex-partner and you will want to call them and hear their voice one more time. However, you need time to process the whole situation. You will need to take care of your heart that you do not let it become worn out from all the pain and uncertainty. Also, give your ex-partner time and space. It will do both of you good.

Use your support system to get through it

After the break-up, you will need a lot of support. Keep family close and reconnect with old friends. In case it gets too hard, be proactive and visit a therapist. There is no shame in asking for help.

Additionally, you can pick up a new hobby as a form of healthy distraction. By all means, keep moving forward.