Ever heard of mum guilt?
Well, it is an actual thing and it refers to a common feeling that some, if not most, mothers have of not doing enough as a parent or not doing things right. It could also refer to the feeling that the decisions they make may negatively affect their children.
It is pretty common and the result of mum guilt is that things eventually become overwhelming and taking a break only adds to the mum guilt. This is because one feels they should be doing something for their kids instead of taking time for themselves. A good example is pro tennis player Serena Williams who felt that going back to train came with a feeling that she should be spending more time with her daughter Alexis.
However, you need to remember that often times, it is just your mind fighting against you. To beat mum guilt, keep these things in mind:
1.Your enough is different
Like most things in parenting, every mother’s experience will be different. Therefore, do not dwell on the fact that these other mums kids seem to have this parenting thing on lock because you are most likely giving your children your best. This also comes down to your choice to not breastfeed, going back to work, weaning and other things that mums ‘should’ do. A lot of mum guilt comes you compare yourself to other mothers.
2. Give yourself room to make ‘mistakes’
When it comes to parenting, you learn as you go. No one has it all figured out and some things that you may consider ‘mistakes’ are just what parenting is. Trust yourself and your insticst when it comes to raising your children. Additionally, all children are different and what worked to calm one’s tantrums may not work for the other.
3. Your children need you to be happy
Happy mummy= happy baby. This is not just an old wives’ tale. When you are in a better place mentally and emotionally, you are able to attend to your kids better.Both you and the kids will benefit from this so don’t be afraid to treat yourself when you need a break. Get your hair done, a mani-pedi or even take a weekend off if possible without the kids.
4. Social media is only filled with happy moments
Social media has played a big role in adding to mom guilt due to its seemingly flwaless posts. However, you are not failing as a mum because everyone seems to be able to get their kids calm enough to take a photo. Remember that people in general tend to show their happy moments.