Discovering that your partner has been cheating on you is one of the worst feelings in the world. You feel betrayed and angry, and the future of the relationship is uncertain and bleak. Amidst all this, there is hope for recovering from infidelity if you feel the relationship is worth saving. These tips may help you get over this rough episode.
Acknowledge your feelings
You are hurt, so do not try to hide it. If you need to cry, take your time and cry it out. Do not act strong and uncaring as the wound in your heart festers. Failing to acknowledge your feelings may cause you to turn to drugs for instance, just to vent your emotions. Allow yourself to feel sad, but do not unpack and stay in that state forever.
Infidelity may bruise your ego and leave you feeling inadequate, but do not remain down forever. You are likely to feel like everything has been a lie all along and that you do not really know your partner.
The burden of infidelity is too heavy to be carries alone. Seeking support will make you feel less alone. Talk it out and you will feel better. Be careful who you seek support from and avoid judgemental friends at all costs. Rather, seek help from genuine friends, counselors, older relatives and professional books/articles to guide you in the healing-coping process.
Leave your kids out of it
When you began the relationship, kids were not involved. So, don’t involve them in the bedroom matters especially when they are young. Protect them and save them the trauma and agony of seeing their parents grapple with infidelity. They have nothing to do with it and it may affect their esteem.
Live with your kids as before. Handle these issues maturely instead of dragging them into any ensuing drama.
Allow some time for disclosure from your partner
While the urge might be there, do not bombard your partner with questions. Granted, you are hurt and you need answers to your many questions, but take time. When ready, sit down together and discuss the circumstances that led them to cheat on you. The more rational you are, the better their chances of coming out clean and charting the way forward. Seek clarifications and see if you had any input in their behavior.
However, remember that you cannot reverse a bell already rang. Some information can hurt you further, so you can avoid digging too deep if you are intent on recovering from infidelity.
Ask your partner to clean their mess
Just to make the third party aware that it isn’t business as usual, ask your partner to show some proof that things ended completely. This door has to be closed before you open a new chapter. You are also at the liberty of telling your partner to end things with the other man/lady in your presence, just to make things serious and clear.
Go for STDs test
Since your marriage has been placed at risk, health-wise, do not take chances. Go with your partner and get tested for STDs all over again. It is a mutual step that should be taken for the love of the family.
Slowly initiate intimacy
Infidelity is the perfect catalyst for the death of intimacy in the relationship. However, rekindling is good way of recovering from infidelity. This will not happen all at once and will take some time, but work towards it gradually.