Balancing friendship and parenthood

Parenthood undeniably changes friendship. For mothers, It’s tough finding time for friends when you’re constantly in mommy mode and playing referee to your children.

Whether experiencing postpartum depression or the more common “baby blues”, new parents often feel excluded from their social circle especially if they are the first to become a parent. While maintaining the same social life might be challenging due to less time and money, it is still possible to enjoy quality time with friends.

Find your match
James Kibunja popularly known as MC Kibunja shared his experience on being a first time father and explained how parenthood has affected his friendship. “A friend of mine told me I have changed my circle of friends.” He went on explaining that since becoming a parent, his ability to initiate contact with friends has decreased.
Connecting with other parents can be incredibly validating as the MC points out. “I have found a community of fathers who have been there before me. They are so encouraging and I don’t feel alone”. Building friendships with parents going through similar experiences can be a valuable way to combat feelings of social disconnect after having a baby.

Communicate with your friends

Many parents feel left out as their friends continue having fun while they are stuck at home because they’ve had to bail out on plans. As MaryAnne Wesonga, an accountant and a mother of two puts it, “Sometimes, it felt like my friends had moved on without me. Motherhood changed my priorities”. She made an effort to reach out to her friends and let them know she wants to stay connected. This honesty deepened their connection and helped them understand her boundaries.

Let your friends help
Good friends are like family, they are there to support you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, or practical assistance, your friends are often eager to lend a hand. Feeling supported by friends can help alleviate the feelings of isolation often experienced by new parents.

Adapt to changes
With the constant diaper changes and the never-ending laundry, you may not have the same availability as before and that’s okay. Being adaptable and flexible in your social plans can help you manage unforeseen changes and understand that some events may need to be rescheduled. A quick catch up over a shared cup of coffee with your friends makes a huge difference.

Express gratitude
Show appreciation for the friends and family who make an effort to stay in touch with you. Take a moment to reflect on the amazing friends in your life and let them know how much they mean to you. A simple “I don’t know what I would do without your advice. You’re always there to listen, and I’m so grateful for your friendship,” could go a long way.

Social interaction benefits your mind, body, and spirit. However, it is completely normal to want to spend nearly all your time with your amazing little one. Don’t feel guilty if you prefer to skip social events to enjoy precious moments with your baby. Balancing babies and best friends might seem hard, but it is definitely doable. Prioritize your friendships and you’ll reap the rewards for years to come.