Is Co-parenting With Your Ex Easier Than Staying Married? Real Parents Speak Out
For many couples, the end of a marriage marks the beginning of an all-new terrain, co-parenting. Sharing parental responsibility after separation can be a nightmare, but it can also be the best decision you will make if you place the child’s or children’s best interest at the centre.
Is co-parenting easier than marriage? Several experts have stated that divorce, in itself, does not necessarily impact children negatively. What hurts kids is how parents conduct themselves after the breakup. It is possible to move on amicably and respectfully, regardless of what led to the divorce.
What makes co-parenting easier than staying married?
When marriage becomes the harder option, and parents go their separate ways, they have to find a way to continue raising their children the best way possible. The reasons for divorce are deeply personal, and most couples have admitted that they are better off apart, citing reasons like constant arguing, emotional distance, resentment, and tension, all of which cause untold damage to the children.
A union that started as loving and promising can break down irretrievably, straining the couple and the children. Unfortunately, staying together for the children has had more severe consequences, hurting the family significantly. In such cases, children are exposed to unnecessary drama and conflict that could scar them permanently.
When the relationship ends, lovers are forced to make the difficult decision of ending the relationship and exploring healthy co-parenting alternatives.
Healthy co-parenting after divorce
Is co-parenting better for kids? While co-parenting may seem like uncharted waters, parents can build a wholesome relationship that works for them and the child. Shared parenting goes beyond raising children in two households. It’s about instilling values and virtues that help your child, which is why both parents must be intentional in moulding their child. Here is what you should know as you take on the co-parenting journey:
What happened in your relationship does not matter
The past belongs there, and both parties must work towards healing for the sake of their child. Unhealed individuals spew hate and bitterness, yet your issues as a couple have nothing to do with your child. Be intentional about your healing and focus on their best interests.
Your ex might move on, be okay with it
As life would have it, your ex-partner might fall in love with someone else and build a home together, which will be your child’s second home. Refrain from making sarcastic comments, especially in the presence of your child; save those for your friends or therapist. The truth is, you are irreplaceable in your child’s life, but you might sabotage the relationship by interfering with your former partner’s current relationship.
Rise above your feelings
No one really prepares you for divorce or its after-effects. You must learn how to relate with your in-laws, accept that you might have lost some friends, or that things did not go as you expected. However, co-parenting requires sobriety to help your child navigate the divorce journey without tainting your ex-partner’s image.
If you need to, get professional help
Divorce causes untold pain for both parties, and you need all the help you to get back on your feet again. While it might be tempting to speak to your child about the other parent, it can cause damage to their mental health. Visit a counsellor for professional help as you navigate this journey, and come up with a co-parenting method that works for both parents and the child.
What makes co-parenting easier?
Some couples have admitted that divorce was the best thing they did for their relationship. There is less friction and reduced conflict, which has helped them live happier and freer lives. Some of the reasons why it’s easier to co-parent than stay in a dysfunctional marriage include:
- Better emotional health for the parents and the kids
- Clear roles and expectations for both parents
- A healthier example for the children
- Healthier relationship skills
Real parents’ experiences…
Several celebrities have called their union quits and are successfully co-parenting their children. While it is not a walk in the park, these co-parenting stories are definitely worth learning from. Some of these individuals have moved on to new relationships, while others have kept their love life under wraps.
Kate Actress and Phil Karanja
The former lovers are successfully co-parenting their daughter, Njeri. The details of the arrangement are not public, but both frequently spend time with her, celebrating birthdays and special events together, as evidenced by photos and videos on their profiles.
The late Betty Bayo and Prophet Kanyari
The departed musician and her ex-husband, Prophet Victor Kanyari, parted ways in 2015 but continued to raise their children in a shared parenting agreement. According to online content, the children’s father paid for his children’s school fees and continues to spend time with them.
Bahati and Yvette Obura
Renowned musician Bahati and his ex-baby mama, Yvette Obura, also have an amicable co-parenting arrangement. Their daughter, Mueni, is frequently seen in Bahati’s house and has found a home with her half-siblings and her stepmom, Diana B. Yvette is also in another relationship and the agreement, although not public, seems to be working perfectly for both.
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian
The celebrity couple broke up in 2022 but have been co-parenting their four children. According to online sources, the kids have a healthy relationship with both Kim and Kanye.
Finally…
So, is co-parenting with your ex easier than staying married? Successful co-parenting has proven to be possible if the parents maintain mutual respect, communication and draw clear boundaries. The emotional impact of divorce on children can be heavy, but with clarity and focusing on the child’s best interests, all parties can come out of it better, stronger, and wiser.
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