Finding healing after a failed relationship

Often times when a relationship doesn’t work out, it can be hard to move on, especially if you had been together for a while. You might even be tempted to

Finding healing after a failed relationship
  • PublishedMarch 15, 2021

Often times when a relationship doesn’t work out, it can be hard to move on, especially if you had been together for a while. You might even be tempted to reconnect with your ex-lover which is often a bad idea considering you could be doing so for the wrong reasons. And although it may look like you cannot survive without them now, things do get better.  Here are a few steps that will lead your heart to healing:

Try a social media detox

In this age of social media, you may be tempted to pour out your frustrations to all and sundry, which you might end up regretting in the long run. Furthermore, nothing stings more than seeing your former lover with a new beau. The solution? Stay off social media. Chances are, since your friends follow them, you might come across their posts which may evoke feelings of anger or sadness. Mute, block or delete their profiles if need be.Alternatively, put your phone off and take some time for yourself but be sure to let your loved ones know first.

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Stay with family and friends

Often, when we invest in our relationships, we push our friends and family all the way to the back burner. We focus all our time and energy in the relationship because we really care for this person and we want it to work. However, reconnecting with family and friends after a breakup could hasten your healing process as you would be surrounded by people who care for your wellbeing.

Explore new interests

Have you always wanted to go bungee jumping but your partner wasn’t very upbeat about it? Now is the time to do it. If you’ve admired pots and the art of pottery for the longest time ever but never got around it, this is it. The joy of creating something from the clay up and making a beautiful masterpiece out of it, or not, is fulfilling. This is the best time to rediscover yourself and other interests after being caught up in the other person for a while.

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Nothing makes sense like putting down your thoughts on paper to help you figure out whatever you are feeling. The pain of a failed relationship is further amplified by the confusion of not being able to define or explain the agony. You can’t really explain it and others can’t really understand it but being able to describe your feelings in words kickstarts the journey to healing.

Talk it out

There is absolutely no need to keep all the hurt within you out of fear of burdening either your friends or family. Meet up with a trusted friend and just talk it all out. The pain, the confusion and the memories. It’s okay if you still can’t help talking about them just yet. Gradually let it all out until your memory of them is not shrouded in anger or hurt. Sharing what you feel, after all, gets the problem half-solved.

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“Travel far enough. You’ll find yourself.”- Author unknown.

Right now, you feel lost because you and your partner had become one. That empty space you feel was once full of your hopes, dreams, goals and desires as a couple. What you don’t know is that you are still there. It doesn’t feel like it right now, but you are not empty. Your whole self is still there and there’s nothing like travelling to new places to figure it out.


Meditating is a technique that instantly calms the soul. Meditate on the good times and remind yourself about the beautiful things you have learnt because of this person. Think about the growth and how far you have come because of the relationship and purpose to think of your former partner in a way that does not arouse sadness or anger.

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