Let’s talk weight management, children edition

In Africa, a child’s weight is usually equated to a parents’ love. A chubby baby is a well-fed baby which equals loving parents. A skinny child is frequently asked to eat, constantly overfed, and the parents shunned. No, matter the weight of your child you must talk to them about nutrition. An active lifestyle with proper nutrition is crucial in the development of children.

Conversations about weight and nutrition are slippery. Any wrong words and your child might develop an eating disorder, body dysmorphia, or low self-esteem.

Educate yourself

Start by educating yourself. By educating yourself on the importance of nutrition, BMI, and the benefits of an active lifestyle, you can provide your child with accurate information. Accurate information also helps you understand your personal biases.

Dr Menbere Kahssay, a consultant Pediatric Endocrinologist at Aga Khan University Hospital, states that some parents do not realize the effects of poor nutrition on their children. “In my experience, most parents are aware that their child is obese, but they often do not realize the seriousness of the condition. They tend to think it is just a phase or something that will resolve on its own.”

Understanding how weight affects your child helps you look out for signs the child is not okay. If the child is unable to breathe or strains even with the most minute of tasks, then maybe they are not able to carry their weight. If the child has no weight gain over 6 months or has lost over 10% of their body weight in three months, they might be underweight.

Once you have the correct information and trashed your personal biases, it is time to have the conversation.

It is a conversation, not a lecture

When having a conversation with children it is important to meet them eye to eye. Talking over them feels like they are talking to an authoritative figure and not a parent. Talk to them on a face-to-face level.

Ask them about their day then introduce the conversation. Ask if they understand why they eat the foods they eat, if they know why it is important to have a balanced diet. If your child is obese or underweight, ask them if they have had stories about people with their bodies. Help them understand that they are worthy regardless of their weight.

Based on what they understand, explain what nutrition is, what changes will happen and why the changes are important. For example, a child who is lactose intolerant may understand that milk makes their tummy hurt but might feel left out seeing their siblings enjoy flavoured milk or ice cream. So, explain why they must stop taking animal milk and offer plant-based solutions such as soy milk.

Talk about their nutrition as a health indicator, not a personality trait. As mentioned in most cultures chubby babies are said to be loved. Therefore, if your child is underweight, they might start to believe they are unlovable. Avoid stereotypes and judgmental statements.

Make it a team effort

It is easier for your child to make the progress required if the process does not feel isolating. Involve them as per their capacity, in the meal prepping process. As the siblings might feel they are getting dragged to do things they do not want i.e. replacing soda with homemade juice, or eating more vegetables than crips, have a conversation with them too.

Make meal times a fun activity that everyone looks forward to. In our family food series, we explained the importance of letting your children participate in the kitchen and how you can make meals together. When switching from daily bread to sweet potatoes and cassavas, let the children participate: one will wash them, the other will peel and another will serve.

Lead by example

I make mashed potatoes the way my mum does. Whenever my mum serves herself tea, she asks if I want some. Growing up, she loved Kenyan brewed tea. And every time she had tea, I wanted tea. Your kids emulate you. Therefore, set a good example for them.

Food is not a reward nor is it a punishment

Food is fuel. Fuel that is meant to give us energy. Promising your child pizza if they pass their exams, may lead to your child developing a faulty relationship with food. Do not promise to buy them cake if they lose 3kgs.

In the same light, do not force food down their throat if they don’t want to eat. Find out their reason then give a solution.

But, how do you avoid junk when it’s everywhere?

You cannot avoid junk food, if they do not have it at home, they will have it elsewhere. As said, explain why the changes need to happen, then find a compromise. Note down what foods they would like to have and look for fun and healthy ways to have them. For example, learn to make pizza as a family. This way you will control the amount of cheese and salt in it and can even sneak in more vegetables. For sweet tooths like me, learn how to bake, or make sweet juices at home. As these activities might be tedious to you, assign them roles.