“I want a serious relationship, but I’m scared.”
It is a sentence many young people today can relate to.
For generations before us, commitment was seen as the natural next step in a relationship. People dated with marriage in mind, and while relationships had their challenges, commitment itself was rarely the problem.
Today, however, a growing number of young adults find themselves caught between wanting love and fearing everything that comes with it.
From situationships and ghosting to financial struggles and trust issues, modern dating has become more complicated than ever.
So, are young people no longer interested in commitment? Not necessarily.
The Fear of Getting Hurt
Many young people have witnessed painful breakups, messy divorces, infidelity, and toxic relationships. Some have experienced betrayal firsthand.
As a result, many enter relationships with one foot in and one foot out, constantly preparing for the possibility that things may fall apart.
“People are no longer afraid of being single,” says relationship coach Grace Wambui. “They’re afraid of investing emotionally in the wrong person.”
Situationships: The New Normal?
Gone are the days when people clearly defined relationships.
Today, many young adults find themselves in situationships—relationships that look and feel like commitment but lack labels and long-term intentions.
For some, situationships offer freedom and flexibility. For others, they create confusion, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion.
Ironically, many people in situationships desire commitment but fear the vulnerability that comes with it.
Social Media Has Changed Love
Instagram, TikTok, and dating apps have transformed how people meet and interact.
While technology has made connections easier, it has also created endless options and unrealistic expectations.
One swipe away, there is always someone seemingly more attractive, wealthier, or more successful.
Comparison has made satisfaction harder.
Couples are now not only managing relationships but also dealing with the pressure of maintaining appearances online.
The Financial Factor
Love may be priceless, but relationships are not.
Economic uncertainty, unemployment, and rising costs of living have caused many young people to postpone marriage and serious commitments.
Some feel they need to “have it all together” before settling down.
Others fear becoming financial burdens to their partners.
For many, commitment isn’t just an emotional decision—it’s an economic one.
Healing From Childhood Experiences
The families we grow up in shape the relationships we build.
Young people who witnessed constant conflict, absentee parents, or unhealthy marriages may unconsciously fear repeating the same patterns.
As awareness around mental health grows, more people are recognizing the importance of healing before committing.
They are asking difficult questions:
Am I emotionally available?
Have I healed from my past?
Can I love someone without losing myself?
These questions reflect not selfishness, but self-awareness.
Commitment Isn’t Dead—It Has Evolved
Despite popular belief, young people have not given up on love.
They are simply approaching it differently.
They want healthy communication.
They want emotional safety.
They want partnerships built on friendship, trust, and shared values.
Perhaps what we are witnessing is not the death of commitment, but the death of unhealthy expectations around it.
So, What Are Young People Really Afraid Of?
Maybe they are not afraid of commitment.
Maybe they are afraid of heartbreak.
Maybe they are afraid of settling.
Maybe they are afraid of repeating the mistakes they have seen around them.
Or perhaps, after generations of being told to stay in relationships at all costs, young people are finally choosing intentional love over forced commitment.
And maybe that isn’t such a bad thing after all.
Because commitment is not dying.
It is evolving.
And perhaps love is too.
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