Mistakes first-time lovers make in new relationships

There’s a first time for everything, including dating for the first time. After being single your whole life, you suddenly have to change your way of life and start living

Mistakes first-time lovers make in new relationships
  • PublishedOctober 2, 2020

There’s a first time for everything, including dating for the first time. After being single your whole life, you suddenly have to change your way of life and start living as someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend. First relationships may not be perfect or last forever, but they’ll probably remain in our minds for a long time.

Everyone makes mistakes in their first relationship but eventually learn through experience.

Below are some mistakes;

Threatening to end the relationship after every fight

Arguments feel so upsetting and emotionally draining that you think it’s better to be single than be with them. Don’t let every fight lead to a breakup. What you don’t know is that people in healthy relationships will fight from time to time. It’s impossible to agree on everything. This is because despite being a couple, you’re still individuals.

So unless you mean it, refrain from sending dramatic texts such as “have a nice life” or “I wish you the best, bye”. In first-time relationships, most of the time we don’t usually mean it.

Listening to everything your friends say

Friends that have been in long-term relationships usually offer gems of advice when you’re going through a rough patch with your significant other. However, you should not let them dictate how your relationship works. Just seek advice then make YOUR OWN informed decisions. After all, there’s only two people in the relationship, not three or four.

Moreover, people have different personalities and their cup of tea may not be yours. That’s why sometimes your friend’s type is far from the person you may choose to date.

Make wise choices along the way but don’t listen to EVERYTHING your friends say just because they have years of experience. What works for them may not work for you.

Too proud to ask for forgiveness

Lovers angry at each other

New lovers are usually reluctant to apologize or ask for forgiveness. If you’re the one who wronged him/her, just apologize or make amends. If you’re waiting for them to communicate first because you’re too proud, you’ll just end up losing a great partner and relationship.

Comparing your relationship with others

You got into a relationship with them because you liked who they were and what they were able to offer. However, with time you start to feel short-changed because you start comparing your relationship with others.

Woman envious of happy couple

E.g. your friend’s boyfriend always buys your friend expensive gifts, takes her on many vacations outside the country and professes his love for her every second. You start asking why yours doesn’t do those things.

You start feeling like he’s not doing enough yet you knew his financial capabilities and personality from the beginning. Comparison is the thief of joy and wrecks healthy relationships.

Jumping to conclusions

This is a recipe for disaster in new relationships. You may think your partner doesn’t love you because they stayed a week without communicating or may be cheating because of their sudden change in behaviour.

You’re not a mind reader. Instead of taking action after jumping to conclusions, just communicate your concerns or look for evidence first.

Thinking you can change someone

Even though you can make your partner grow in leaps and bounds, you can’t really change them. Don’t go into a relationship thinking you can change them to be exactly who you want them to be.

Putting dreams aside and pretending to be who you’re not

Don’t sacrifice your dreams in order to compromise in relationships. Your dreams are just as important as anyone else’s.

Don’t pretend to be who you’re not to impress your boyfriend or appear cool. Some are guilty of doing this in their first relationships. Just be who you are.

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