The Comparison Trap: Trusting Your Child’s Timeline
A specific type of anxiety sneaks under a parent’s skin. It is not based on anything your child has done wrong, but a discrepancy between what you have in front of you and what you imagine everyone else has.
An observation made by a family member, a negative comment on your post or when a child at the daycare does what your child has not yet done. It doesn’t signify anything at all. But we are human, and you might begin to wonder whether your child is okay.
The comparison trap is quite simple as it trains you to see absence rather than focusing on what your child is doing beautifully right now.
What does development truly appear like
Children don’t have a fixed timeline for their development, which occurs in stages, with all the energy moving into one area while another side waits for its turn.
A child who starts walking early may talk late. A quiet baby may just be taking everything in, all ready to blow your mind on any given morning when the words begin to flow.
The time ranges are non-deadline. They paint a wide picture of normal, not a strict timetable that every child must meet.
Read More: Dear Parent, Here are Development Milestones to Look out for in Your Baby
Keep in mind that children walk at different ages. Both things can be healthy; whether you’re born earlier or later within these windows does not predict intelligence or ability.
Differences between kids are generally just fine
If you notice that your little one is not exhibiting a social smile at three months, not sitting by nine months, not babbling by ten months, or not using single words by eighteen months, as well as loss of skills a child previously had, talk to your doctor.
It is worth checking at every age; it is not overreacting to ask a question early.
What is comparison costing you?
Small children notice when the grown-ups around them are worried. Doubt is infectious, but so is confidence. When a child is given room to grow without pressure, they tend to try more freely, to fall without shame, and to try again without the pressure.
Such freedom is not built on comparison.
Reconciliation with one’s own child
At the end of each week, ask yourself one simple question: What did I notice this week that I never noticed before? A fresh tune. Different indicator. A moment of ultimate happiness.
You might easily miss these things when your gaze is elsewhere
Limit the noise from others
You don’t have to respond to everything a relative says. You don’t have to read every parenting post. When you feel anxiety rise again, focus again on the child in front of you. Your child does not fit your idea of what a child should be. The real one, with its quirks and its own subtle timeline.
The comparison that counts
With time and in their own way, your child is becoming someone at their own pace and you should have the necessary patience.
The time spent waiting for them instead of seeing what is already here will not come back. Learn to be present and don’t rush the process.
For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!
