The other day I came across a Facebook post by a lady friend of mine that read: “I’m one step away from becoming rich… all I need is money.” I laughed out loud. You see; I never expected that second part of the post. And yet she was right. To be rich, one needs lots of cash.
Another lady wrote on her Facebook wall: “Women don’t cheat, they fall in love with the guy who knows how to take care of their needs better.” I went straight to the comments and one lady commented: “Tell them (the men, I guess), a woman needs a man who supports her and takes her to another level.” Several other comments touched on money such as no romance without finances and so on.
Still, on the Internet, I came across an online article telling women how to reawaken romance in their man. The writer made a list of things, but one caught my eye. It said, “Quit the money talk.” It went on to say, “Postpone all your new month budget discussions and instead reassure your man that he is in charge of your household’s finances. Tell him how you know he will be able to independently budget and manage the finances and you will be surprised how your romantic gift will miraculously fit into your budget just because you never took part in the money talk.”
All in all, the picture I was getting in the social media sphere is that money is the foremost preoccupation of many people; but clearly, mostly about the lack of it. The man who does not wish to raise the budget issue is definitely a man without enough; my friend who is a step away from becoming rich also has little, and the same applies to the girl who says women fall in love with a man who knows how to take better care of them. But would life be better if all of us had all the money in the world? Definitely. Would we be happy? Debatable.
From what I have gathered in my reading of psychology and even the Holy Bible, the mistake we make mostly is confusing riches with wealth. Economists will define wealth as a higher level of being rich, but to psychologists and spiritualists, wealth has got little to do with material possession. To them, humans should be concerned about being wealthy than about being rich.
From a book I’m currently reading, true wealth consists of loving what you do, and loving others. Think of that. A rich man has material possessions; a wealthy man is full of love for his work and for people. This tells you that it is possible to be rich and never in your lifetime be wealthy. And it is possible to be wealthy without ever being rich.
Yet, we are told that if we want to be happy then we must pursue this kind of wealth than we pursue riches. Of course, we need money and stuff, but we will never get enough no matter how much money we make: it’s always a rat race. And so, a man and woman who peg their marital happiness on balancing the budget will never know happiness because, as they will discover, the fulfillment of one need is the beginning of another. Similarly, a woman who picks men lovers depending on how they shower her with money and gifts will never know happiness because there will always be a richer man than the one she now has.
But when you peg your life on loving others, then everything suddenly becomes bearable. You stop asking what the other is bringing to the table and begin asking what are you giving instead. With love for the other – spouse, friend, brother, sister, mother, father, and stranger – the little we have is enough because it is shared. The budget will not be the problem because we will divide the money available and not beat ourselves over what we don’t have. We will be at peace and in good health because we will not be stressing ourselves over another man who has more material things than we do, or because another lady has a richer boyfriend.
So, by all means, look for money and all the worldly riches but for true wealth, love what you do and love people.