Tips to set boundaries in your friendships

The boundaries you establish with friends are determined by various factors, including how close you are, how long you’ve known each other, and what you expect, want, and require from the friendship.

Although setting boundaries in friendships can be difficult, it is vital to have them. Here are ways to establish boundaries with friends:

Identify your boundaries

Making your boundaries concrete is the first and most crucial step in defining them. Boundaries are frequently perplexing and abstract because they appear invisible in our daily lives. When boundaries are ambiguous or inconsistent, it sends mixed signals to your friends about what you expect or require from them. You should have precise boundaries demonstrated through your words and actions.

Discuss the value of your friendship

Before addressing any boundaries, be sure to let your friends know how much you respect their friendship. It will enable you to talk in the least combative way possible.

Open conversation

Setting boundaries with friends entails having an open conversation about what each of you wants and expects from the other. Transparent communication is an essential component of any healthy relationship. Having open and honest communication will help in establishing boundaries. The more precise and direct you communicate your boundaries, the easier it will be to maintain them. 

Before making your boundaries active, you should talk to your friends. Respectfully inform them of your concerns and explain why they are necessary. It is also essential to ask them how they feel about the boundaries.

Be open to compromising.

You and your friend may need to admit your differences and sometimes meet in the middle. Your friend may have a personal boundary that is opposed to yours. In such a case, it would be best if you were both willing to make concessions.

Learn to say no

You can’t have healthy boundaries or relationships with people to whom you can’t say no. Saying no does not have to be a disappointment or betrayal. A good friend should understand when you say no.

Use I-statement

When setting your limits, use I-statements. It is helpful when you need to talk to a friend about a problem or issue but don’t want to criticize or offend them.

Using an I-statement is one of the best ways to express your thoughts, needs, and desires to others.

Be firm

When discussing your limits, you must be confident. Being assertive will ensure your friend understands how serious you are about the boundaries you’re attempting to impose.

Learning to create boundaries with friends might be intimidating, but it strengthens your friendship in the long run. Start a conversation with your friend and set clear boundaries. Make sure to respect each other’s needs.