The term 'sexual predator' may not be new to most people. However, a significant percentage of the population are not aware that sexual predators do not prey on children alone, even adults can be victims.

A sexual predator is anyone who performs sexual misconduct that can be termed predatory or abusive. 90 % of predators are males who seek inappropriate sexual contact including rape and paedophilia. A sexual predator views sex as a way of controlling and dominating others. Here are five characteristics of sexual predators.

Makes you depend on him

By creating a dependency on him, he leads you on through an unbalanced intimacy. He provides what you may view as unique by buying you gifts, heaping praise on you as well as calling and texting to show you that he cares. He listens to you and makes you feel respected and adored, and this builds loyalty and vulnerability, which he will use against you.

This is the grooming process, as he prowls on you.

Manipulates you with his words

This means that the predator is trying to make his shortcomings your fault. He may end up lying, twisting your words and even blowing things out of proportion to distract you from his words and actions. His feelings come first and yours don’t count unless he can use it against you. He may notice your anger and say that this shows that you don’t love him.

To make it worse. He may end up gaslighting you. This means that he abuses you emotionally to the point where you doubt your thoughts, memories and things you have gone through.  

When he notices an opening, he goes forward with his attack knowing he can successfully manipulate you.

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Pushes your sexual boundaries

To a sexual predator, boundaries are breakable and he does not respect them. He may start by introducing his motives as a joke or a game. He can do this by touching your knees and then this escalates to thigh-touching and up to your private parts.

Whenever you express your discomfort, he ignores your resistance and proceeds with risky sexual behaviour.

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He controls you

A sexual predator is often insecure. He will be uncomfortable with you talking to male friends and even to family. He wants to own you and everything that is yours like your time and your emotions. He will stalk you on social media and even send rude comments on your page to those who compliment you.

This does not stop there. He will make a fuss about how you dress and how you talk, implying that it is sexual. His general reaction will be to suppress your self-expression and to limit your contact with the people you care about.

This characteristic is a key indicator of a sexual predator although through manipulation it may go unnoticed.

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He disfigures your self-image

A sexual predator has narcissistic tendencies whereby he focuses everything on himself. He will overlook your input and concerns, always claiming that you are the one who wants all the attention.

He will judge your actions inside and outside the bedroom or wherever.  This way he gets you self-conscious, thinking that he is the only one who sees the good in you, the beauty that makes you who you are.

He will try to use the knowledge he has on your past as a weapon to degrade you and soil your self-image.

It is not easy to identify a sex predator from face value. The best thing to do is to be conscious of who you let into your life. Also, knowing the signs described in this article will help you point out any person who may want to prey on you.

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