Love yourself better through your love languages

Love languages are different ways people communicate their love. Although we expect it in romantic relationships, we rarely practice it in friendships and with ourselves.

Dr. Gary Chapman grouped these love languages into five main categories: quality time, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts, and words of affirmation.

Recently, therapists on TikTok have added an extra love language; being seen. Let us define these love languages:

Quality time

A lover of quality time person feels loved when there loved ones spend a significant amount of time with them. To honor this love language in relation to self love, spend time alone.

Book a solo pottery class, or movie night, curate a playlist, or a solo dinner or lunch date. Be intentional about spending quality time with yourself, preferably away from your phone and people.

Acts of service

When someone’s love language is acts of service, they appreciate it when other people do things for them like cooking and cleaning among others.

It is important to do things for yourself as a way of showing love. Instead of being indoors sitting around doing nothing, get up and make a nice meal for yourself, clean your house or your clothes and any other act that would make you feel good.

Normalize doing things that make you happy instead of waiting for someone else to do them for you.

Receiving gifts

This is obvious, gift these people. The trick to winning in this is to be intentional. Gift yourself a thing you appreciate.

If you like fine dining, save up and gift yourself a dinner at your favorite restaurant. Although it is important that you gift yourself on your birthday, try to gift yourself as often as you can as a way of appreciating yourself.

Words of affirmation

How would you describe yourself? Do you use kind and loving words to describe yourself? People with this love language value words, they cling to every word you say. Honoring this love language means uttering words full of love when talking to yourself.

The strongest words are those that come from within. When you affirm yourself positively and regularly, it becomes very difficult for other people to out you down with hurtful words.

Look at that mirror and assure yourself that, “I AM ENOUGH.”

Writing letters to yourself is also a way you can love yourself. Create a playlist with music which speaks positively to you and listen to it every morning.

Physical touch

This person feels loved when they are touched. They like massages, holding hands, cuddles, and more. If your love language is physical touch, be intentional when applying your lotion, doing your home facials or washing your body.

To be seen

I love this love language. It encompasses all. Sometimes, we want gifts, sometimes we want a hug, sometimes a back massage. To be seen requires that you pay attention to your needs and wants daily.

How best will you love yourself this week?