The other day, my mom called to ask how she could check her emails. I tried explaining it step by step, “Just open the Gmail app, Mum… tap the red and white envelope…” But after a few failed attempts, we both laughed, and I gently told her to just pop into the nearest cyber café for help.
It was a small moment, but it stayed with me. For the first time, I realized how much things had changed. The woman who once guided me through everything, from tying my shoelaces to facing life’s big moments, now needed me to guide her through something as simple as technology. That’s when it hit me: it’s my time to parent my parent.
This phase of life creeps in quietly. It’s not dramatic , no big announcement, no clear line, just small things that start adding up. You begin to notice their needs more and without thinking twice, you start stepping in. You make sure they’re comfortable, safe and happy. You budget with them in mind, not out of obligation, but out of love.
For many of us, this season isn’t about black tax or family pressure. It’s about gratitude, wanting our parents to live well, to enjoy peace and dignity after years of sacrifice. They gave us their best when they had so little. Now, it’s our turn to make their lives easier, even in small ways.
But this transition also changes you emotionally. You begin to see your parents as human, not just providers or disciplinarians, but people with fears, limitations and dreams. Parenting them doesn’t mean taking over; it means showing up with patience, compassion, and understanding. Sometimes, it’s as simple as helping them navigate a phone, reminding them to take their medicine, or sitting down for tea and a long talk.
It’s a beautiful full-circle moment; realizing that love doesn’t just move forward to the next generation, it also flows backward. The same hands that once held you through your first steps are now the ones you hold through theirs.
Sidebar: 3 Gentle Ways to “Parent” Your Parents
1. Be patient with their learning curve.
Technology can be frustrating for them; explain slowly, with kindness. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s connection.
2. Prioritize comfort and dignity.
Whether it’s improving their living space, helping with medical care, or buying something small they’ve wanted for years, these gestures go a long way.
3. Stay emotionally present.
Beyond finances, your presence matters most. Visit often, call regularly and remind them they’re still needed and loved.
