Editorial

Don’t marry him in the hope of changing him- he will only get worse

There is need to overlook certain things to accommodate your partner, but there ought to be a clear line between that and what you absolutely do not want to live

Don’t marry him in the hope of changing him- he will only get worse
  • PublishedOctober 26, 2020

There is need to overlook certain things to accommodate your partner, but there ought to be a clear line between that and what you absolutely do not want to live with. Unfortunately, many girls imagine that they have some manner of supernatural powers to change certain aspects of a man once they are married. Here are five weighty things that will not only not change once you are married, but actually have the potential of getting worse.

Drinking
Even though most men who drink will often say they do it for leisure, many girls will sincerely admit that they would be afraid for the irresponsibility that comes with a drinking husband and father. The unfortunate bit is knowing all too well that you do not want to spend the rest of your life with him, let alone have him as the father of your children while he still drinks, but you hope that when he marries you, he will stop. Most often he will only drink more after you say I do.

Lying
Having a man with too many inconsistencies in his stories and explanations can be unsettling. If he stands you up on a date and gives you an explanation that seems a lie, if he gets a side hustle and seems to lie about how much he earned, all this is not going to change when he marries you. He will continue to lie, or worse he will even refuse to explain things to you.

Mistakes first-time lovers make in new relationships
There’s a first time for everything, including dating for the first time. Afterbeing single your whole life, you suddenly have to change your way of life andstart living as someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend. First relationships may notbe perfect or last forever, but they’ll probably remain in o…

Verbal and Physical abuse
Most men who have feats of anger during which they will say extremely mean and hurtful things to you- or even ‘accidentally’ slap you, have bigger personal problems than you think. Their anger issues most likely emanate from their upbringing and childhood, which requires them to be intentional in addressing and, consequently overcoming their anger issues. Imagining that such a man, without addressing the root of his problem will ‘somehow change’ once he marries you, is a big mistake.

Does not create time to spend with you
Some girls are in relationships where they are constantly begging for their partners to spend time with them. Everyone is busy, but for the sake of bonding with your partner, everyone has to create time. If your man cannot find time for you now when he still needs to woo you into marrying him, what makes you think that when he has already won you into being his wife, he will find the time?

He is clearly too insecure
If a boyfriend is always snooping trough your phone or cannot believe it when you tell him that the guy you were spotted with at the mall was your cousin and your aunt was actually waiting for the two of you at the parking lot, it’s bound to get worse once you’re married. They will, in fact, feel more entitled and possessive over you and may even get violent about it in marriage.

Mistakes men make when choosing marriage partners
It is not only among women that choosing marriage partners doubles up as a keycareer decision. It is for the men too, and choosing marriage partners can bedaunting. A study by Clark University in the US has found that 86 per cent ofyoung adults (aged 18-29) expect their marriages to last a lifeti…

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