In today's society, being single, especially after a certain age is viewed with disdain and concern. When you are single, you can't avoid questions such as, "did you find someone?", "Aren't you lonely?" and many other inquiries that you can't seem to find answers for.  

In such an environment, it is easy to fall into the trap of believing that something is wrong with you and to end up single shaming yourself.

Single shaming is when someone is made to feel lesser for not being in a relationship. Interestingly, individuals can also single shame themselves at the expense of their mental health and peace.  When you feel the single shame bug creeping up on you, deploy the following tips;

Keep yourself busy

This is the time to explore your hobbies and interests. Find something you are passionate about and enjoy doing it. The fulfillment that comes with pursuing your passion helps distract you from sad thoughts. Every little achievement you make will help you celebrate yourself- instead of feeling bad about being single, you will be popping bottles!

Go on dates

As much as you might be content with being single, there are days you will feel left out. You don't have to drown these feelings in hope that they will go away. Embrace them and accept date offers. Have a good time, make the most of the moments. Who knows? you might find your next special person or realize there's nothing you're missing out on.

Surround yourself with love

Single shaming comes about when you feel lonely and unloved. Family and friends have a way of bringing light and love in someone's life. Having people who support you rids you off this feeling and you won't have to doubt that you are worthy of love. Be around positive people who radiate joy and give you a sense of belonging and connection.

The single season is not a time to isolate yourself. Go out with friends, spend time close to your family, and allow their love to warm you up.

You don’t need a partner to live your best life
Being single doesn’t mean you are lonely or unhappy.

Develop self-esteem

Don't put yourself in a situation where you have to question your worth. Believe in yourself and know that there is nothing wrong with being being single. Work on your self esteem as it helps one accept and love themselves just how they are, with their flaws and imperfections.

When you are self-confident, no one will make you feel bad about your situation, even yourself.

Interact with other singles

Imagine an AA club, but now for singles. Interacting with others on the same path as you helps you learn a lot. The risk of being single shamed is almost zero and you can talk about your experiences without fear of being judged.


When you are single, you can be your greatest cheerleader or your biggest critic. Needless to say, the latter will only bring you misery. Therefore, instead of wasting your single years wallowing in self pity, why don't you actualize the tips in this article and have a blast?

The exciting June issue of Parents magazine is here!
In this exciting issue, we catch up with TV and radio host Anthony Ndiema and his wife Nenoh Ndiema as they get up close and candid on their marriage and their parenting journey. The two open up on their bumpy start to finally finding stability in a way that you don’t want to miss! Elsewhere, we go …