Across Kenya and beyond, a growing number of young people are openly questioning a long‑held assumption: that adulthood must culminate in parenthood. Public figures such as Becky Akinyi and Huddah Boss Chick have added their voices to this conversation, articulating concerns that many young adults quietly carry.
Becky Akinyi has stated plainly that she does not want to have children, explaining that motherhood is not a path she wishes to take based on her life experiences. In her words: “I do not want to have children. If that is what is considered blessings, let God stay with His blessings.” Her statement, while provocative to some, underscores a reality many are reluctant to say out loud: raising a child comes with immense financial, emotional, and psychological responsibility.
Similarly, Huddah Boss Chick has shared that she will only consider having children once she has her life fully figured out. “Kids like me deserve better,” she noted, pointing to the importance of stability, self‑awareness, and preparedness before bringing a child into the world.
These perspectives have sparked debate, particularly among parents and older generations who grew up viewing children as a natural milestone rather than a deliberate choice. Yet beneath the controversy lies a deeper question worth examining with honesty and empathy.
Is this a valid concern?
From a parenting and family‑life lens, the concerns raised by Becky and Huddah are not only valid, but they are also responsible.
Parenthood today is vastly different from what it was a generation ago. The cost of living continues to rise, access to stable employment is uncertain for many young people, and the emotional labour of parenting is better understood than ever before. Therapy culture, mental health awareness, and conversations around generational trauma have made young adults more reflective about what they can realistically offer a child.
For some, the fear is not about disliking children, but about repeating cycles of neglect, poverty, emotional absence, or unhealed trauma. Others simply recognise that their purpose, capacity, or season of life does not align with raising children. Choosing not to have children or choosing to wait is, in this context, an act of self‑awareness rather than selfishness.
Importantly, not everyone who becomes a parent does so from readiness; many do so from pressure. Young people today are increasingly resisting that pressure.
Why is society struggling with this shift?
In many African societies, children are deeply tied to identity, legacy, and even spiritual meaning. Parenthood is often framed as a duty to family, to culture, and to God. When a young person rejects or postpones this path, it can feel like a rejection of shared values.
However, society has changed faster than the expectations placed on young adults. While the pressure to “settle down and have children” remains, the communal systems that once supported parenting, extended families, shared childcare, and stable neighbourhoods have weakened. The burden of parenting has become more individual, more isolating, and more expensive.
Expecting young people to embrace parenthood without addressing these realities is increasingly unrealistic.
What can society do better?
If we are serious about family well-being, then society must move beyond judgment and into support.
Normalise choice and timing
Not wanting children, or not wanting them yet, should be treated as a valid personal decision. Parenthood thrives on willingness and readiness, not coercion.
Invest in mental health and healing
Many young adults are making decisions through the lens of unhealed childhood experiences. Accessible mental health support can help individuals make clearer, healthier life choices, whether that leads to parenting or not.
Reduce the economic burden of parenting
Policies and workplace cultures that support parents, affordable childcare, flexible work, and parental leave make parenthood less daunting and more sustainable.
Change the narrative around ‘blessings’
Children are a blessing, yes, but they are also a responsibility. Holding both truths allows for more honest conversations and better outcomes for families.
Listen to young people
Instead of dismissing these views as rebellion or Western influence, society should listen. These conversations are not anti‑family; they are pro‑intentional living.
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