A Kenyan woman’s raw confession on social media has gone viral, igniting conversations about financial boundaries, family expectations, and emotional fatigue.
In her post, she revealed that after years of being the family provider, she had reached her breaking point.
“So today I’m making a very harsh decision. I’m blocking all my family members starting from my mom, my brothers, and my sisters. I’m blocking everyone. I want to disassociate myself from them because they will get me depressed,” she wrote.
She explained that she has been supporting her family since she was 17 years old, sending money regularly, sacrificing her own comfort, and even taking on jobs she didn’t enjoy just to make sure they were okay. Yet, despite her effort, she never felt appreciated.
“They don’t call to ask how I’m doing or how I’ve been. They only call to ask for money. I’ve done worse things to make sure they are okay, but it’s never enough,” she added.
Her words hit home for many young working women who silently carry the financial weight of their families , a modern reality often referred to as black tax. While the spirit of giving is deeply rooted in African culture, constant pressure without emotional reciprocity can become damaging.
According to Esther Muthoni, a family psychologist, this situation reflects a growing emotional struggle among Kenya’s younger generation, particularly first earners in their families.
“What begins as a gesture of love easily turns into emotional exhaustion when one feels taken for granted,” Esther explains. “It’s not the giving itself that hurts; it’s the lack of appreciation, empathy, and shared responsibility.”
She notes that many young adults, especially women, often shoulder both financial and emotional responsibilities in their families, sometimes at the expense of their own mental well-being.
“When your family starts to see you as a solution rather than a person, it’s time to pause. Setting boundaries isn’t disrespectful, it’s healthy,” she says.
While her decision to block family members may sound extreme, Esther believes it reflects a cry for balance rather than abandonment.
“Sometimes stepping back is the only way to reset a relationship,” she says. “Once emotions settle, communication can happen from a place of calm and mutual respect.”
She encourages families to learn financial transparency, openly discussing what one can and cannot afford and to build empathy around shared struggles.
“The truth is, everyone wants to help their family,” Esther adds. “But love should go both ways. Ask how your loved one is doing, not just what they can send.”
“When your family starts to see you as a solution rather than a person, it’s time to pause.”
Esther Muthoni, Family Psychologist
SIDEBAR: Signs You’re Emotionally Drained by Family Demands
1. You feel anxious or guilty when you see a call or text from a family member.
2. You prioritize their needs over your own basic bills or peace of mind.
3. You dread family gatherings because of financial conversations.
4. You’ve stopped sharing your struggles because they might be used against you.
5. You feel more like an investment than a loved one.
Tip: Take a pause. Reassess what you can afford, emotionally and financially. It’s okay to love your family and still protect your peace.
