Beyond “I Do”: The Uncomfortable Truths Destroying Kenyan Relationships

In a society that highly values the institution of family, conversations about the realities of modern Kenyan relationships are often avoided. However, as evidenced by the insights of relationship expert Maurice Matheka in his recent candid discussion, we can no longer afford to sweep issues under the rug.

The video, titled “A Candid Conversation with Maurice Matheka On The Real Issues Destroying Relationships In Kenya,” acts as a wake-up call. It directly addresses the pressure points that are causing stress, infidelity, and breakdown in many homes.

Why Love Alone Isn’t Enough

Matheka makes a good point. Love does not guarantee the success of a relationship. A lack of honesty primarily drives failure.

The foundation of a lasting union is an authentic friendship between partners. When a couple ceases to be honest friends, they stop communicating vital information, creating a vacuum that outside forces (affairs) can easily fill.

Parents and couples must commit to honesty from the very beginning. Honest about finances, family expectations, and sexual needs. This prevents the erosion of trust that leads to explosive conflict later on.

Read Also: Take the HONESTY TEST with me…

Money and Societal Expectations

Many young relationships are built on a shaky, transactional foundation. This is where money and resources become the primary drivers, rather than a genuine emotional connection.

Kenyan men often feel unappreciated and reduced to their role as providers, leading to emotional emptiness. In some tragic cases, it contributes to a rise in male mental health issues. A man needs to be seen and appreciated as a holistic human being, not just a walking ATM.

Societal and religious pressure to stay in an unhappy or dead marriage can push partners toward extramarital affairs.  These affairs act as a psychological and emotional escape route. The fear of divorce or social stigma becomes a greater deterrent than the marriage’s true lack of health.

Intimacy and Infidelity

Unsatisfying sex is one of the leading reasons people stray. It’s a tough truth many couples sidestep. But avoiding the conversation doesn’t make the problem go away; it just inflates it.

Couples need to get the sex stuff right. That means talking openly, kindly, and often. It’s not about perfection, it’s about curiosity, collaboration, and keeping the spark alive.

When intimacy dips, it’s often more than just a dry spell. It’s a sign something deeper’s off. Fixing the sex isn’t just about the bedroom; it’s about rekindling connection, appreciation, and emotional closeness.

For Parents and Couples: A Path Forward

Matheka’s take isn’t all pessimistic. There’s hope if couples are willing to shift gears. The key is talking early and honestly, even when it’s awkward, before small issues snowball into big ones.

That means having the real conversations before you move in or tie the knot: money habits, family dynamics, parenting styles, lay it all out.

Don’t forget the friendship. Being genuine pals with your partner is what holds you steady when love goes through its natural ups and downs.

Lastly, see your partner beyond what they do or provide. Compliments, emotional check-ins, and feeling seen. Those are the everyday deposits in a relationship that lasts.

To find out more, watch this video: A Candid Conversation with Maurice Matheka On The Real Issues Destroying Relationships in Kenya

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