There is no doubt that divorce is one of the more painful life experiences as opposed to its contrary, marriage. Marriage is a union that brings people together whilst divorce is a separation that tends to tear people apart. The entire family unit is affected by divorce but no one more than the children.
In order to protect your children from divorce, you as parent must be strong, secure and stable. Your pain and inability to function as a parent will not only hurt you but it will hurt those who matter the most. When going through a divorce many men and women find themselves asking the question “How will I survive this?”
The following are some tips on how to get through the pain and survive divorce:
Just as with every inevitable and unchangeable experience in life you must accept that it has happened. It does not matter why it happened or how it happened. It just did. Allow yourself to grieve during this acceptance period but keep in mind that “everything happens for a reason.”
2. Don’t look back
One very important tip which can be applied to many aspects of your life but is key when going through divorce is to not look back. “Leave the past in the past,” by looking back and resisting the urge to ask yourself “what if” you did certain things differently; you would only be hurting yourself. You cannot change what has already happened but by looking forward instead, you can have control on what happens next.
3. Talk to God
Talk to God every day for strength as you would when you endure any hardship in life. Allow yourself to be grateful for all the good that you have in your life. Sometimes, it can be hard to talk to God either because of guilt or blame for what happened but push through the pain and find solace in your spirituality.
4. Embrace your individuality again
There was once a time where you didn’t always were not the wife or husband of your ex significant other. Remember who that person was and let them back into your life. This can be best achieved through rediscovering your passions and interests. Take time to do things that you used to enjoy and you’ll rediscover yourself.
5. Take care of yourself
During a painful time, such as that of divorce it is important to really try not to fall apart. Eat well, laugh, don’t isolate yourself, exercise etc. Activities like exercise are known to boost feel-good hormones which uplift your mood. Involve yourself in such as much as possible.
6. Minimise contact with your ex
Space from your ex is the best thing after a divorce. It allows you to establish your individuality whilst developing a civil relationship with one another that is based on the children.
7. Connect with other people who are divorced
By connecting with other divorced people, you have created an outlet where your thoughts can be heard. A support group could be very beneficial in easing the process of moving forward.
8. Enjoy the children
Do not let the divorce take away the joy you get from your children. When you are with your child forget about the divorce and just take pride in the blessing that they are. The time you spend with your children will not only take your mind off the divorce but will remind you of the best part of the marriage.