Menopause, Unmasked: The Power, Pain, and Poise of Women in Transition

For decades, menopause has lingered in the shadows — whispered about, joked over, or brushed aside as something that happens to “old women.” Yet, the reality is far more intricate and intimate. It’s not just a biological milestone; it’s a metamorphosis that touches every layer of a woman’s being; physical, emotional, and even professional.

Dr. Faith Ngunjiri knows this all too well. The Leadership Scholar, author, and executive coach recalls her confusion when her body began to change years before she had any vocabulary for it. “It wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I realised I was probably in the midst of it, even though it had started 5–7 years prior,” she shares. “For most people, hot flushes are the quintessential menopausal symptom. But that’s just one, and not everyone gets them.”

The real story, she says, lies in the subtle and often misunderstood symptoms: the back pains, the brain fog, the anxiety, the creeping sense that you are no longer yourself.

“Suddenly, you find yourself unable to sit for long periods, yet your job involves working on a computer,” she recalls. “I bought a standing desk to manage my back pain, but alas — the knee pain, the foot pain followed. The emotional symptoms like anxiety and depression are often treated in isolation rather than linked to perimenopause.”

On the other side of the spectrum, Dr. Dorcus Muchiri, a Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist, Fertility Specialist, and Menopause Enthusiast, says one of the biggest hurdles is ignorance, pure and simple.

“The truth is many women have no idea what menopause really is or that it’s even coming,” she says. “Those who’ve heard about it think it’s just for old women, or that it’s all about hot flashes. Estrogen affects every single system in the body — literally, even hair follicles.”

“Another misconception,” she adds, “is that every woman must suffer through menopause. Not true. Experiences differ, and awareness makes all the difference.”

When the Body Forgets Familiarity

The first sign, Dr. Muchiri says, is often intangible. “Not feeling like yourself — that’s the red flag. For some women, it’s mental; for others, it’s physical. It’s unnerving.”

For Dr. Ngunjiri, that loss of familiarity with her own body translated into what she describes as “a confusing transition.” It also became a moment of reckoning with her identity as a professional woman.

“Imagine going to bed in pain, waking up in pain, and still being expected to show up at work looking bright and beautiful,” she says. “Imagine suffering a panic attack on your way to work and still needing to perform. That’s the reality for many women.”

Hormonal fluctuations, particularly the decline in oestrogen and progesterone, impact neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine, affecting mood, cognition, and anxiety levels.

“I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in 2017,” she recalls. “At the time, I had no idea it could be related to perimenopause. Going on hormone therapy erased my brain fog in less than two weeks. Two weeks!”

These fluctuations, she explains, can trigger everything from mood swings to panic attacks, and in severe cases, even suicidal thoughts. “A friend once called me in tears, saying she’d considered suicide. I reminded her that as a woman in midlife, this is when we are most vulnerable to psychological distress. Just knowing that changed everything for her.”

The Silence that Suffocates

Culturally, menopause remains cloaked in silence — the same silence that used to shroud menstruation. “We’ve normalised the conversation around the start of periods,” says Dr. Muchiri. “We must do the same for their end. The experiences are similar, yet the men around us have zero idea what is happening.”

Dr. Ngunjiri agrees that open dialogue both at home and in workplaces  is the key to breaking stigma.

“If a spouse understands that his wife is fatigued because she didn’t sleep due to night sweats, he’ll be more supportive. If he doesn’t, he might assume she’s just being difficult.” She emphasizes, adding that, “Husbands and children need to know that mummy’s body is going through something huge and she needs all the support she can get.”

At work, the silence can be costly. “Menopause isn’t just a personal issue; it’s an organisational one,” says Dr. Ngunjiri. “We lose too many brilliant women in midlife because their workplaces don’t understand or accommodate their transition. Health insurance companies should cover menopause care. It’s cheaper than treating the diseases that follow when women are neglected.”

Healing Begins with Listening

Both women agree that medical practitioners have a pivotal role in changing this narrative. “Listening, that’s what women need most,” says Dr. Muchiri. “Not all women will want or need medical treatment. Many just want to be heard. Unfortunately, health system pressures make that difficult.”

She also challenges women to reclaim agency in their care. “Ask questions. Don’t fear. And if your doctor shies away from your concerns, it’s perfectly okay to seek another opinion.”

Meanwhile, education and early awareness are part of her mission. “Scientists and clinicians have information, but it often only reaches people when they’re already suffering. We must find ways to share it earlier.”

Grace, Humor, and the Reclaiming of Self

Despite the turbulence, there’s beauty in this transition. A kind of rebirth that both doctors highlight with surprising optimism. “There’s so much more in this phase of life,” says Dr. Muchiri. “It’s not all negative. We’re living longer than ever. It’s a privilege to see what modern medicine can do.”

For Dr. Ngunjiri, humor has been her greatest coping mechanism.

“Once I figured out what was happening, I could laugh about it with my girlfriends, with myself. There’s a global community of women, like the ‘We Do Not Care Club,’ finding power in laughter. Humor and grace don’t mean we’re not taking it seriously. It means we’re humanising the experience.”

Her advice is tender but empowering: “Learn all you can about where you are. Find the resources that help you feel and do better — hormonal therapies, herbal remedies, counselling, community. We cannot pour from an empty cup. Menopause will deplete us; it’s up to us to replenish the reserves of hormones, energy, and joy.”

A Season of Becoming

Menopause, both doctors affirm, is not the end of womanhood. It’s an evolution of it. It’s a call to listen inwardly, to advocate outwardly, and to laugh in the face of what once seemed taboo.

And perhaps that’s the essence of this transition: not loss, but liberation. The kind that reminds women that aging isn’t a curse, but a continuum of wisdom, resilience, and the enduring art of becoming.

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